


Lost In Reverie

by SB1080



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SB1080/pseuds/SB1080
Summary: A log has changed since John was sixteen. He survived the war, married twice, and his family has grown in power. Memories come flooding back as someone from his past returns to Birmingham. Did his past come to haunt him, or is this the ticket to the future he had forgotten about?
Relationships: John Shelby/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

“I don’t see why we have to go.” Esme said crossing her arms. “It’s the weekend. We should be at the fair.”  
“Tommy wants us there.” John responded to his wife.   
“Yeah, well, Tommy wants a lot of things. And you and Arthur are always the ones that do the work for it. He just sits like a king and gets the glory.”  
John gave his wife a side eye but said nothing, continuing his drive. It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Birmingham and John was ready for whatever task Tommy had for him. He drove down the street, a small smile on his face.   
Esme continued to complain about Tommy and John listened, though never agreeing with her. John enjoyed the physical demands of their job. He had the power over everyone in Birmingham and he never hesitated to exercise it. They turned the corner, heading out of town toward Tommy’s house when John glanced out the window haphazardly and then back to the road.   
Immediately he pulled his eyebrows together and looked back over his shoulder at the woman walking the opposite direction. He looked at her silhouette before turning his attention back to the road. He drove, his mind racing. There’s no way. He thought. Esme ranted on beside him, but John’s mind was full of the silhouette he had passed.   
When they arrived at Tommy’s, the family talked until Tommy started the meeting. John looked at Tommy, then out the window behind him. He chased a head of ash brown hair as it ran toward the tree line.   
“Come out!” John said as she hit the trees before him and hid.  
“Close your eyes.” She said, though he couldn’t decipher from where.  
John did as he was told and heard the fresh autumn leaves crunch under her feet. Her sweet citrus scent wafted to him in the wind as she neared him. John smiled as she put her hand behind his head and bent it toward her.   
“Promise me we’ll grow old together.” She urged in a dreamy voice, her breath on his lips.  
“I promise.” He answered.   
“John…” She said, her voice an echo.  
“Hm?” He answered, her touch evaporating on his skin.  
“John.” A male voice broke into his daydream. “John!”  
John opened his eyes and looked around. His family was staring at him, amusement on their faces.  
“Are we boring you?” Tommy asked.   
“No.” He said straightening his back. “I’m listening.”  
Tommy gave him an annoyed look and continued.   
“What was that about John Boy?” Arthur asked as they finished their meeting, throwing his arm over John’s shoulder.  
“Nothing.” John responded, not wanting to admit to his flashback.  
“You have been working too hard. We need some fun! Tonight, at The Garrison!”  
John agreed, as did the rest of the family. As he and Esme drove through town, he looked intently at the women walking past. Esme didn’t notice, she was too busy talking about Tommy and his meeting they had just left.   
John decided he had imagined the whole thing and that the woman was just some random brunette on her way to get groceries.   
_____________________________________________  
As he and Esme walked into The Garrison, they found the rest of the Shelby clan. Not long after, Charlie, Curley, Johnny Dogs, Jeremiah, and Isiah joined them.   
“Now this is what it’s all about!” Arthur said stepping on a chair and holding up his drink. “Drinks with family and friends!”  
“Hey!” The crowd agreed, holding up their own drinks and then taking a gulp.  
“Arthur.” Linda said with disapproval. “Arthur come down from there before you fall, you’re drunk.”  
“Alright, alright.” Arthur said looking down at her.   
He glanced up as he began to lower his foot back to the floor and stopped.   
“Holy shit! It can’t be!” He said as he stared toward the bar.   
The rest of the group turned to look, but the pub was so crowded they couldn’t see what Arthur had.   
Arthur quickly put his feet on the ground and gave his drink to Ada with a rushed, “Hold this.” And rushed toward the bar.   
“Move!” He barked at the group and they parted.   
The family continued to watch him; their curiosity peaked.   
“Ellie Fucking Tanner!” He said as he scooped up a petite figure and squeezed as he lifted her off her ground.   
A crash of breaking glass caused the family to turn. John stood, his eyes wide and frozen on the ash brown hair leaned into Arthur’s neck.   
Arthur’s loud drunk voice rang through the pub as the family remained staring at John and his reaction.  
“C’mon!” He boomed, “Come see the family.” No one could hear her response, but Tommy guessed she attempted to decline his invitation because Arthur said after a pause, “Don’t be ridiculous! You’re not going anywhere!”   
Arthur walked back, a brunette woman no taller than 5 foot stood, squeezed to his side.   
“Look who I found, John Boy!”   
John stared at her, unmoving and unblinking while the woman stood awkwardly at Arthur’s side, her desire to remove herself from the situation evident on her face.  
“It’s Ellie. Remember? Ellie Tanner?” Arthur said, his drunkenness preventing him from noticing the strong social cues radiating through the room.  
Finally, Tommy cleared his throat. “Ellie.” He greeted with a smile and walked to her, offering a hug.  
Ellie released a breath as she gratefully accepted Tommy’s hug, Arthur removing his hold from her.   
“What’d you do, drop your drink? You clumsy bastard.” Arthur said to John with a chuckle as he looked at the broken glass at John’s feet.  
Ada greeted Ellie next, followed by Polly who supported an entertained smirk. Ellie looked at John, who hadn’t taken his eyes off her, waiting for him to say something.   
“How long’s it been?” Arthur asked.   
“Fifteen years.” Polly responded, her lips still pursed into a smirk.  
“Is that right?” Arthur said turning his attention back to Ellie. “Fifteen years since you ran off because ol’ John Boy here-“  
“Alright, Arthur.” Tommy said as he put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and Ellie’s face turned scarlet. “Ellie, you need another drink.” Tommy waved at the barman who brought Ellie a new glass full of gin.   
Ellie waited in another awkward silence before she gave up on John saying something and she sputtered, “I, um, need to go. Thank you for the um-.” She said motioning to her drink.  
Not finishing her sentence, she turned and quickly rushed to the exit, her body warm with embarrassment. Seeing her walk out the door, John’s senses finally returned, and he began to run after her, pushing Arthur and three other men out of the way.  
“Oh, fuck.” Polly said to Tommy. “Here we go.”


	2. Chapter 2

John burst out the doors and quickly scanned the road for her, finding her almost jogging away.   
“Wait! Ellie!” He yelled after her and she stopped.  
John began trotting toward her as she turned and watched him, her chest heaving with nervous breaths.   
“What are you-“ Was all he could manage to say as he drew near.   
“I’m back… in town, that is. I’m back in town.” She stammered, anxiety evident in her voice.  
John examined her. Her ash brown hair flowed in waves to rest just above her chest and her dark blue eyes stared up at him.   
“For how long?” John asked.  
_____________________________________________  
“Forever!” Ellie yelled as tears streamed down her face. “We are going to stay with my aunt until we find our own place.”  
“They can’t make you go!” John said defiantly.  
“John. I’m sixteen. They’re my parents. Of course they can make me. They ARE making me!”   
“No. Please. Don’t go. Not after everything.” John said as he walked to her and cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t leave me.”  
John leaned down and kissed her. Ellie’s hands shot up, grabbing his face and pulling him deeper into the kiss. They kissed as salty tears streamed down her face until she broke away.  
“I’m sorry.” She whispered before she turned and ran down the street, away from him.   
____________________________________________  
“I don’t know.” Ellie confessed with a small shrug, pulling John back to the present. “I suppose that is up to your family, isn’t it?”  
“My family?” John asked bemused.  
“Yes.” she replied blinking at him. “They are the Shelbys. The Peaky Blinders. They decide what happens in their town and who stays. Or at least that’s what I’m told.”  
“Yes. No, you’re right.” John stumbled on his words. “You can stay as long as you want.”  
In the brief pause of their conversation, they heard heels walking briskly in their direction. Ellie looked up to see Esme angrily coming towards them.  
“John!” Esme said. “What are you doing?”   
“Having a fucking conversation.” He said.  
“Not with her and not alone you aren’t.” Esme insisted.  
“You don’t even know her!” John said.   
“I don’t need to know her. When your husband goes chasing off after another woman, judgements are allowed to be passed before knowing the harlot he’s chasing.”

“Harlot?” Ellie interjected. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I was just having a drink.”  
“Well, you did.” Esme berated.   
“I didn’t know your family owned The Garrison. I found out when Arthur spotted me.” Ellie told John, defending herself.  
“Well, now you know. And you aren’t welcome here. Leave.”   
“I am.” Ellie responded hatefully before taking one last look at John and turning, walking away.  
“She IS welcome here!” John said to Esme, but Ellie continued walking. “Was that necessary?” he added as they walked to the pub.   
“Yes.” She retorted.  
“Look. Ellie is an old friend. I was just shocked to see her. That’s all.”  
“You ran after her like a bloody dog on a lead!” Esme said as she hit him with a closed fist on his arm.  
“It wasn’t like that, okay? I.. just…” John growled as he blocked her repeated blows before shrugging his shoulders, not knowing how to finish his sentence. “I haven’t seen her for fifteen years. I wanted two words with her.”  
Esme huffed and crossed her arms as John opened the door and they reentered The Garrison.  
____________________________________  
Ellie wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the tub. Walking to the mirror she gazed at herself.   
“You idiot!” She said to her reflection. “You knew you’d likely run into him when you came back and yet you still acted like a foolish teenager. It was fifteen fucking years ago! He’s married. You’re newly single and not looking to get involved. He’s just a man.” She lectured herself.  
Monday morning, Polly, Ada, and Lizzy sat around Polly’s desk in their family’s gambling den.  
“Who is she?” Lizzy asked.  
“Elizabeth Tanner. She lived here until she was sixteen. Then her family moved to Scotland.” Ada answered.  
“And?” Lizzy urged.   
“What do you mean ‘and’?”   
“That interaction wasn’t exactly normal. She acted like she wanted to fall out!”  
Finally, Polly leaned forward. “Ellie was John’s first love. Would have been his last if her parents hadn’t taken her away.”  
“Why did they?”  
“Because her father caught them together.” Polly said matter-of-factly as she leaned back again.  
“What?” Lizzy said smiling. “He caught them?”  
“Oh yeah. We both did.”  
“Both? Polly, I need details. Caught them doing what?”  
“She told her father she would be at my house, with me but I was in town. We ran into each other and he asked where she was. Of course, I didn’t know what he was talking about, so he immediately left to find her. I got to Watery Lane same time he did, and we walked in to find them naked on my sofa.”  
Lizzy gaped at her; the corners of her mouth turned up.  
“If John hadn’t been a Shelby, her father probably would have killed him. They packed and left the next day.”  
“John was devastated.” Ada added. “He didn’t eat or sleep for weeks.”  
“Not to mention the tears.” Polly agreed. “every time I looked at him the first three days, he was sobbing like a five-year-old girl.”  
“That’s awful.” Lizzy said, her faint smile disappearing.  
Polly opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Tommy walked in.   
“Gossiping on company time?” He said as he brushed past them.  
“Yes. Going to do something about it?” Polly retorted and he looked at her.  
“No. Just don’t let John hear you.” He said nonchalantly.  
“You know if she stays, it will be trouble.” Polly said as the other two women walked away.  
Tommy said nothing as he stopped and looked at a paper on her desk.  
“That was a long time ago, Polly.” He finally responded.  
“You saw the way he ran after her. The minute he saw her face, he was sixteen again.”  
“He’s married.” Tommy pointed out.  
“Right. And that will stop him.” Polly said sardonically as she stood. “It’s Ellie. You know as well as I do that the two of them would have gotten married if her parents hadn’t intervened. That’s not something the two of them will forget. Mark my words Tommy Shelby, if you let her stay there will be trouble and whatever the consequences, it will be on your conscience.”  
Polly pursed her lips and began working as Tommy heard John and Esme walk through the door. A few moments later he walked into John’s office and shut the door.  
“John. We need to talk about Ellie.” He said as he leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette.  
“Why?” John asked.  
“You know why.” Tommy answered. “What happened between the two of you was a long time ago. You were kids. If the two of you still feel for each other then she will have to leave.”  
“Leave?” John asked, his eyebrows creasing.   
“That’s what I thought.” Tommy said with a small shake of his head. “She can’t stay, John.”  
Tommy turned to walk out of the room and John stopped him. “Tommy…. She left me. Fifteen years ago, she left me and I never heard from her again. What we had is over. It ended a long time ago. You don’t have to make her leave.” He said, his tone oozing with melancholy and disappointment.   
“You will stay away from her if she stays.” Tommy said sternly and John nodded.  
That same afternoon John and Arthur ventured to Artillery Square to collect on some debts. They had almost finished when they knocked on the last door. As the door opened, John’s stomach dropped.   
“Oh, uh, Ellie..” Arthur said awkwardly. “What are you doing here?”  
“I live here.” Ellie pointed out innocently.  
“What’s happened to the Browns?”  
“Left. According to the neighbors they were in a bit of a hurry.” Ellie shrugged, glancing at John who was avoiding her eye.  
“Mm. Right.” Arthur looked at John who was looking anywhere except at Ellie. “Well, how are things? Is there anything we should know?”  
Ellie shook her head. “No. It’s been quiet. While I’ve been here, that is. I have been looking for work so I’m not here all that often. Mostly just at night.”  
“Looking for a job, eh?” Arthur asked, his eyes lighting up. “I am needing someone at The Garrison. Bar manager, uh, didn’t work out.”   
The way he worded his sentence told Ellie the previous bar manager not only didn’t work out, but also didn’t survive his position.  
“You…. Want me to… be bar manager?” she asked, unbelieving.  
“Why not?”  
“Well for starters, I’m a woman.”  
“Oh, we don’t care about that. Very modern, Shelby Company Limited is.” Arthur said proudly.  
“Arthur…” She began. “Under any other circumstance I would take you up on your offer but…” She paused as she looked at John then dropped her eyes to the ground before meeting Arthurs eye. “I don’t think my working there will be as appreciated by the rest of the family as it would be by you.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous. You will work as bar manager at The Garrison. It’s my pub. I decide who works there.”  
Finally, John cleared his throat and said quickly to his brother, “You should talk to Tommy.”   
“I don’t need Tommy’s permission to hire a bar manager.” Arthur retorted angrily before looking at Ellie with a stern expression. “11 O’clock tomorrow morning. Don’t be late.” Then he turned to leave before she could respond, John in his wake.  
______________________________________  
“You what?” Polly said looking at Arthur.  
“Hired a new bar manager.” Arthur said.  
“You hired Ellie?” Polly asked before turning to smile at Tommy and shaking her head.  
“Yes. Ellie.” He responded, standing behind his decision.  
Tommy sighed as he rubbed his eyebrows. “Arthur… Ellie isn’t the right person for the job.”  
“Why not?”  
Tommy looked at John, who looked away with his arms crossed as if he wasn’t aware of a conversation.  
“That was fifteen years ago, wasn’t it John Boy?” Arthur said. “Ellie was always good to our family before. Knew all kinds of things we did but, she never peached on us or went to no coppers. Least we could do was give her a job, and we need someone we can trust in that position.”  
“John?” Tommy said, bringing him into the conversation. “What do you think about Ellie working at The Garrison?”  
John considered him for a moment before saying, “I don’t care where she works. A bar manager is a fucking bar manager.” He shrugged, indifferent.   
Tommy shook his head and sighed again, “Fine.”  
Polly scoffed and shook her head as she walked away.   
“I don’t know why everyone is making such a fucking big deal out of this! She’s just a fucking woman!” John blurted, angry at Polly’s reaction. “I don’t fucking care where she works. I don’t even know her anymore! You are all acting like I’m a fucking child and can’t control myself!”  
“Can you?” Polly asked pointedly.  
“Yes. I can. I don’t give a fuck about Elizabeth fucking Tanner!”


	3. Chapter 3

Ellie exhaled a deep breath before she entered The Garrison. Looking around the empty pub, she couldn’t help but smile. The last time she had seen it, she was sixteen and it was just a shabby little pub that would rarely even have people in it. She never expected it to be as busy and nice as it was now. Of course she never even thought she would come back to Birmingham, but with her relationship ending, she wanted to return. She felt homesick sitting in the empty hotel room in Paris, but she wasn’t yearning for Scotland. She wanted Birmingham, her home when she was a child. Scotland never felt like home and she had dreams of Small Heath and the canals as often as she dreamt of anywhere else.   
“Good, you’re on time.” Tommy said as he walked out of the office in the back. “Before we get started, I need to know... Why are you back?” he asked.  
“You mean am I back to rekindle some long-forgotten romance with your brother?”   
Tommy raised his eyebrows and nodded, confessing to her assumption.   
Ellie’s eyes softened as she looked at Tommy. “I was there; at his first wedding. My father had just passed, and I was free. So, I came back for him.”  
Tommy’s eyebrows twitched together for a moment as he listened, and she continued.  
“He looked so happy with her… I couldn’t bring myself to say or do anything that would jeopardize that, so I left, and I promised I would forget about John Shelby. So, no. I didn’t come back for him this time.”  
“And did you forget about him?”  
“Have you forgotten your first love?” She asked, raising her eyebrow. Tommy clenched his jaw and looked down for a moment, giving a silent answer to her question.   
“I did move on though. I was engaged recently, though it didn’t work out.”  
“And you came back.”  
“Yes. I came back. But not for John. For myself. I never wanted to leave; Birmingham was my home. I just wanted to come home….”  
Her eyes plead with Tommy’s.   
“Tommy.. Are you going to force me to leave?”  
“We can’t afford any trouble, Ellie.”  
“I don’t want trouble either. I swear, I’m not here to interfere in your lives.”  
Tommy signed and nodded. “Alright.”  
Ellie stared at him for a moment, unsure if she heard him correctly.   
“What?” She asked.  
“Alright. You can stay. You can work here.”  
Tommy watched has her lips slowly turned up into a smile. He had forgotten how full of life Ellie had been and how contagious her smile was. The corners of her eyes squinted when she smiled, and her dark blue eyes lit up. Unable to control herself and ran forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
“Thank you! I was running low on money, I really needed this.” She said as she pulled herself away from him.  
Tommy couldn’t help but smile down at her. “C’mon I’ll show you around.”  
A couple hours later, Tommy was showing Ellie the accounting book.   
“Any questions?” he asked as he finished going over the book.  
“Just one.” She replied and Tommy nodded for her to go on. “Why did you agree to let me do this? I honestly thought you would make me leave town.”  
Tommy looked at her, his light blue eyes unreadable. “Arthur was right.”  
“About?”  
“You were good our family once. Knew a lot of the things we did, and we could trust you. We need someone we can trust right now.”  
“I take it you couldn’t trust your last Barman?”  
“No.” Tommy said bluntly. “Can we trust you?”  
Ellie smirked at him. “On one condition.”  
Shocked to hear that response Tommy turned his body toward her. “What’s that?”  
“You let me see this big house everyone says you live in now.”  
Tommy looked at Ellie’s naturally pouty lips and then at her dark blue eyes that held a “pity me and say yes” and he shook his head with a smile.   
“You still are good at that aren’t you?” he said.  
“It’s gotten me a long way, Mr. Shelby.” She said, her smile breaking through again.   
“People don’t talk about my big house.” He said modestly.  
“Not to your face.”  
“Why do you want to see it?”  
“Because I am proud of what you all have accomplished. I’ve always routed for you.”  
“Alright. You can come riding one weekend.” He conceded.  
“Thank you!” She said cheekily as she turned her nose up in victory and strode past him to the main floor.   
As they walked out, they found Ada taking off her gloves.  
“I heard you were starting to work here.” Ada said as she looked suspiciously at Ellie.  
“And let me guess. You are here to ask me why I came back and if I am going to try to steal John away from his wife?”   
“Well, while we are on the subject…” Ada said after Tommy said goodbye and walked out of the pub.  
“I came back because I missed Birmingham. And no, I don’t want to take John away from his wife and children.”  
“I see.” Ada said surveying Ellie’s face. “Well, that might work on the men but not on me.”  
Ellie looked at Ada, stunned.   
“You didn’t just come back because you missed Birmingham. You could have come back a long time ago if that were the case.”  
“I did, but I left again before anyone knew I was back.”  
“I saw you. When John married Martha.” Ada confessed and Ellie dropped her eyes. “But he is married again.”  
“I honestly didn’t come back for him. I…. I was engaged. And then I wasn’t. I wanted some familiarity and I just wanted to come home.” Ellie shrugged, her eyes still staring at the countertop.  
“I’m sorry.” Ada said. “Everyone is worried what will happen now that you are back but, I am glad to see you.”  
Ellie’s eyes flicked up to meet Ada’s. “Yeah?”  
“Yeah. We were friends before you and John got caught shagging on the sofa.” Ada said with a cheeky purse of her lips.  
“Ada! Is everyone going to bring that up?” Ellie said laughing and the women began talking about their lives since Ellie left Birmingham.  
__________________________________________________  
The pub was packed, and Ellie was quickly learning the ropes of her new role.   
“It’s been a long time since a pretty little thing has been behind the bar.” A drunken man slurred at her.  
Ellie smiled and rolled her eyes at him.   
“Oh, c’mon!” He continued his eyelids drooping “I can show you a good time.”  
“The only thing you’ll show her is disappointment and the clap.” A voice said behind him.  
“And who do you think-“ The man started but stopped as he realized who had spoken.   
Tommy looked at the man and said, “Drink your drinks and leave the pretty woman behind the bar alone.”  
“Yes, Mr. Shelby.” He said with resentment before grabbing his drink and walking to a table.  
“What? You think I can’t handle myself.” Ellie asked, raising her eyebrows.  
“I don’t know. Can you?”  
Ellie suppressed a smile with her eyebrows still raised and said, “Well I handle you lot just fine. I can handle some legless man.”  
Tommy grinned. “Do you have a gun? You may need it.”  
“Of course, I have a gun.” She said before catching his eye with a mischievous look and raising her skirt to her thigh, revealing a holster with a small revolver tucked safely inside.  
Tommy stared at the gun and then at her leg before cutting his eyes up at her and nodding. “Good.”  
“Oh, no, you don’t!” A voice rang out as the pub doors sprung open. “I told you to leave!” Esme said pointing a finger at Ellie.  
“Arthur offered me a job.” Ellie said nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders.  
“You’re not welcome here.” Esme snarled.  
“Why? I’ve not done anything to you.”  
“You came back for John, but he is MY husband.”  
“I don’t want your husband!”  
“If you come anywhere near him, I will cut you.” Esme threatened.  
“Alright?” Ellie said in a mocking tone, as if insinuating Esme was making a fool of herself with her threat.  
At that time John walked in looking embarrassed. “Esme. C’mon.”  
“NO! Not until she agrees to-“  
“This is ridiculous.” Ellie mumbled under her breath and the three Shelbys looked at her. “I have done nothing wrong. I didn’t reach out to you or anything. I came back and was offered a job. This overreaction is uncalled for.” She insisted sternly to John.   
John’s ears reddened with embarrassment. Ellie looked at them, her eyes resting on Esme’s for a moment before turning and walking away to help customers. Eventually, Esme and John walked to the door and before exiting, John looked back at Ellie, who met his gaze.   
________________________________________  
“Who is that?” John asked Arthur.  
“Who? Oh, I don’t know.” Arthur responded, uninterested.  
John watched the young brunette as she walked down the pavement, her feet light and her hips practically dancing. As she strode by him, she glanced at him. They held each other’s eyes for a moment before the girl looked down bashfully, attempting to hide a smile. John grinned at her when she cut her eyes back up at him through her lashes.   
“Ellie! We don’t have all day.” A gruff man said, noticing her slowed pace and she finally flashed a smile at John before rushing to meet up with her father.   
_________________________________________  
John walked out the door, leaving Ellie staring in his wake annoyed at his wife. Maybe I should just go after him. Give her a reason to act like that. she thought to herself, knowing she wouldn’t follow through with her irritated thoughts.  
Three days had passed since Esme walked into the pub and caused a scene and Ellie had almost forgotten about it. Tommy had asked her to bring the numbers from the pub to his office and as she waited for him to return from another meeting John walked in.   
“Oh. Um…” He said awkwardly as he looked around, knowing they were alone.  
“He’s not here. Lizzy said he had a meeting. I think she went for lunch or something.” Ellie shrugged before turning her attention back out the window, her breathing suddenly tight.  
“Right. Well… I wanted to apologize to you, for the other night. Esme was out of line.”  
“She feels threatened.” Ellie acknowledged. “Though I don’t know why.” She chuckled.  
“I do.” John said, catching Ellie off guard. “I mean, look at you.”  
Ellie clenched her jaw and dropped her gaze.   
“But that doesn’t mean that she should have came at you like that.” John continued.  
“John…” Ellie said as she looked up at him, finding him closer than she realized.  
His eyes were soft as he looked at her.  
_____________________________  
“You’re beautiful.” He said as he slowly began to drop his mouth toward her.   
“You’re just saying that.” Ellie replied bashfully.  
“No, I mean it. Everything about you is beautiful.” He said in a whisper as he continued to draw near her lips. “Your hair, your eyes…. Your lips…” He whispered before his lips finally touched hers.  
______________________________  
“Ada said you were engaged.” John pointed out, pulling her away from the memory of their first kiss.  
“Yes.” Ellie nodded.  
His jaw clenched and he nodded, a twinge of jealousy in his stomach.   
“What happened?” he asked finally.  
“It’s a long story.” She laughed.  
“No telling when Tommy will be back.” John shrugged as he drew nearer. He had dreamt of talking to her since he had first saw her in the pub. There was something about her voice that soothed him.  
Ellie gazed up at him, towering over her. The room suddenly felt like it had gotten smaller and her breathing grew shallow. John watched Ellie’s pouty lips separate and could feel like electricity radiating off her body at the intimate setting they had found themselves in.  
“Um… Well..” She stammered. “We were in Paris and I realized how much h-he…”   
John looked down at her, his blue eyes watching her mouth.   
“I realized how much he didn’t.. please me…” she finally managed to say, her cheeks burning.  
“He what?” John said taking his attention to her words with a smile.  
“He didn’t.. You know… please me..” She said with an embarrassed shrug.  
John laughed. “So, you left him because he didn’t give you enough orgasms?”  
“No.” Ellie corrected. “I left him because he didn’t give me ANY orgasms.”  
“Not one?”   
“No.” Ellie shook her head.  
“Poor fucker.” John said with a pleased smile. “And poor you.” He said as he took another step toward her. “When was the last time?”  
Her eyes grew dark as she thought about her last orgasm. “T-two years ago.”  
John’s eyebrows shot up. “You know. I still remember my first one.”   
“Your first orgasm?” She said, a smile crossing her face.  
“Well, my first real one. With a woman.”   
“So do I.” She said remembering their first time together.  
John lifted his hand and gently brushed his thumb across her cheekbone.  
Ellie chuckled a breath and dropped her eyes. “You still look at me as if you can see into my soul.”  
“And you still smell like fresh apples and lemongrass.” He said. “I smelled it on my clothes for weeks after you left….. and I always wanted just one last kiss.” John confessed, bending his mouth toward hers.  
“I wanted a lifetime of kisses.” She said, the pain of their ending resurfacing as her face came up and their noses touched.


	4. Chapter 4

Immediately, they heard footsteps coming toward the office and they separated quickly. Holy Shit, Ellie! Have you lost your mind?! The one thing you said you wouldn’t do, you almost just did!  
Ellie glanced at John who glanced at her as Tommy walked into his office. Tommy paused for a moment before he continued to his desk.   
“Well?” Tommy asked as he looked at the pair of them.   
“What?” John asked.  
“Did you bring it?” He asked his tone harsh.  
“Right.” John said as he laid an envelope down in front of his brother.   
“Good. You may go.”  
John didn’t say anything, he simply clenched his jaw and turned to leave.  
Tommy shot a look at his brother’s back before turning his attention to Ellie. He turned his body to face her in his seat and they stared at each other.  
“What now?” Ellie sighed in exasperation.  
“Did something happen between the two of you?” He asked.  
“NO!” Ellie growled, “Nothing fucking happened!” She lied.   
Ellie stomped toward his desk and threw the accounting book down. “If you don’t trust me then why am I working for you?”  
“I’m just trying to keep my family from-“  
“I’m not trying to hurt your family!” She said stomping her foot in frustration. “I have slept with plenty of people since John! It’s not like I have been pining over him this whole time!”  
“Ellie I-“  
“What do I have to do to prove it to you all?” She said, her anger and frustration growing.  
Tommy leaned forward in his chair, about to stand as he said, “I don’t-“  
Hearing the argument that was on Tommy’s lips, Ellie grabbed his face and planted her lips on his.  
The kiss caught Tommy off guard but after a moment he closed his eyes and slowly placed his hands on her hips, pulling her closer. Ellie’s hands still held his face and she began to melt deeper into the kiss as his hands rested firmly on her hips. She stepped forward, her legs between his knees and Tommy’s lips parted welcoming her tongue for exploration. They tasted each other, a combination of apples and whiskey. Finally, their kiss broke and Ellie blinked opened her eyes, her body warm.   
“I’m not sixteen anymore. John is in the past. Either trust me or don’t. But decide and stick to your decision so I can find a new job and move on with my life.” She said before she turned and walked out of his office, her mind muddled and confused.  
Later that afternoon, Ellie was cleaning the bar when Tommy walked in with the accounting book.   
“Michael says it looks good.” he said as he put the book on the bar in front of her.   
“Good.” She replied looking at him with a guarded and worried expression.  
“Ellie…” He said as he pulled out a cigarette.  
“You’re canning me, aren’t you?”  
Tommy stopped and looked at her, a crease forming between his brows. “What?”  
“For kissing you. I’m fired, right?” Ellie’s blue eyes looked up at him with a sad pout.  
“Why would I fire you for that?”  
“Because you’re the boss and your whole family has been looking for a reason to get rid of me.” She shrugged, turning to straighten the bottles behind the bar.   
“If we wanted you gone, you’d be gone. I wouldn’t have to create a reason.” Tommy pointed out before pausing and asking, “Why did you kiss me?”   
Ellie shrugged, keeping her back to him. “I don’t know. I wanted to do something that would get my point across that I wasn’t here for John.”  
“Well, you made your point.” He said, wanting her to turn around. “I won’t question it again.”  
Slowly, Ellie turned around. “You really aren’t cross with me?”  
Tommy shook his head. “It takes a lot more than a kiss to make me angry.”  
Ellie smirked. “MORE than a kiss?”  
Tommy chuckled at her implication. “Tell you what, to prove that I trust you; you can come see my big house this weekend.”  
“Oh?” She responded, a flirtatious look in her eye. “Well, Mr. Shelby I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it.”  
“No?” He asked.  
“I don’t have the proper attire to see the king of Birmingham’s giant palace.”  
Tommy smiled, “You don’t need fancy clothes to visit me. A formal gown will do fine.”  
Ellie laughed before Tommy turned to leave. “Saturday. 2 O’clock.” He said as he slammed a hand on the counter before he pointed at her and walked out.  
_____________________________________________________  
Ellie arrived at Tommy’s on time and was escorted inside by his maid.   
Tommy cleared his throat and Ellie jumped as she was caught examining the portraits leading up the staircase.  
“Mr. Shelby, this is quite the house.” Ellie said playfully.   
“C’mon, I’ll give you a tour.” He said and she followed.   
After giving a tour of the house, Tommy led her outside to give her a tour of the grounds. Finally, they came upon a blanket laid out in the grass with a basket sitting on top.   
“What’s this?” Ellie asked.  
“Thought we could eat out here. John always said you liked being outdoors.”  
“Mm.” Ellie agreed with a nod as she sat down and tucked her legs under her. “I love the feeling of the grass tickling my feet.”  
Tommy unpacked the basket and the two of them ate and talked about growing up in Birmingham.  
“I’ll never forget the time you, Arthur, and John went after Billy Nichols for threatening me. He didn’t even touch me, but you sure touched him.”  
“He didn’t need to see out of that eye, anyway.” Tommy said as he picked up his glass of whiskey and took a drink.  
Ellie looked at him as she took a bite of her apple and smiled.   
“What?” He asked.  
“You’re different than you were when we were kids. But also, the same.”  
Tommy looked at her, waiting for her to continue.  
“You don’t smile as much, and you’re a lot harder than you used to be…. But in the off chance you do smile, your eyes have that slight twinkle in them they had when you were young.”  
“I’m surprised you noticed what my eyes did, you never looked away from John’s.”  
“His did the same.”  
After a moment Tommy said, “He told me why you called off your engagement.”  
“What?” Ellie’s eyes went wide.  
“He said your fiancé didn’t-“  
“Oh, please don’t finish that sentence!” Ellie said as she laid back and covered her face with her hands, her ears turning red in embarrassment. “It’s humiliating! I don’t know why I even told him!”  
“It shouldn’t be humiliating for you. He’s the one that couldn’t-“  
“Hang on! When did he tell you this?” She shot up.  
“After you left my office, I asked him what happened between the two of you. He said you talked.”  
“What happened to ‘I won’t question you again, Ellie’?” She asked in her mock-Tommy voice.  
“You told me to make a decision, so I gathered the facts and made one. John said you talked and that was all, and I asked about what, then he told me.”  
Ellie rolled her eyes at him.   
“Two years, eh?” Tommy mocked shaking his head.  
Ellie growled and laid back down, rolling onto her stomach to bury her face in the blanket.  
“Is that why you asked me over?” She mumbled into the ground. “To get me in bed?”  
He looked at her as she peeked at him, saying nothing.  
“You did!” She said as she leaned onto her knees. “Tommy Shelby you invited me over to have sex with me!” her mouth hanging open dumfounded.  
Tommy clenched his jaw and stared at her, waiting to see her reaction.   
“You are my boss!” She said, a faint smile on the corner of her lips.  
“Technically, Arthur is your boss.”  
“You’re John’s brother!”   
“You said you didn’t come back for him.” Tommy pointed out.  
“You really think I’m that easy?”  
“You kissed me.” He said with a shrug before he brushed a piece of hair from her face.  
“I kissed you to make a point. That is all!”  
“Then why are you smiling?” Tommy said as he leaned closer and Ellie’s smile grew.   
“You said you don’t want trouble.”  
“I don’t.” He said as his lips touched hers. “I just want to help you remedy your current situation.”  
Tommy’s hand brushed her knee and slowly crept up the inside of her thigh.   
“My current situation?” She repeated as Tommy kissed her jaw.  
“Two years is a long time, Ellie.”  
Ellie’s breathing picked up as Tommy’s thumb rubbed the inside of her knickers and they instantly began to moisten.   
“What makes you so sure you can change that?”   
Tommy smiled on her neck without responding as he leaned over her and she laid back. Tommy’s hand slipped inside her kickers and she gave a small moan in anticipation as he drew near her entrance. His jacket already off, Ellie removed his suspenders from his shoulder and slid his sleeve garter from his arm. She began unbuttoning his shirt as he slipped her knickers down. Once Tommy’s shirt was open, she ran her hands along his chest and down his stomach, reaching for the buttons on his trousers.   
Tommy ran a finger along her wetness and Ellie’s body grew hot as desire flooded her. Quickly, Ellie undid Tommy’s buttons. Once free, he looked at her and Ellie grabbed his face and pulled it to her. She kissed him frantically, biting and sucking on his bottom lip. Tommy pulled her skirt up and positioned himself. “Ah!” Ellie cried as he eased into her and she felt her face burn with pleasure as he filled her. She pulled her leg up and Tommy ran his hand along her thigh as he began to push into her. Hooking her leg around him, she leaned her head back against the ground enjoying every movement he made.  
He kissed below her ear and she began to moan louder. He thrust into her slower, antagonizing her as her climax drew closer. “Ah, Tommy…” She whined, wanting him to go faster. He continued slowly, knowing it would make her frustrated. Her hand grasped at the blanket as he hit her exactly where she needed, but too slow to push her over the edge.   
“Tommy, please.” She begged.  
Tommy smiled before he began to move faster, giving her the friction she desired. He felt her legs begin to shake as she grew louder.   
“Oh, Tommy!” She cried as she thought the pleasure inside her was too much.   
“Ellie…” He said in her ear and she whimpered.   
“Tommy, I-……I-…..” Tommy shifted his hips and she cried out, not finishing her sentence as her eyes rolled back and her body convulsed under him.   
She tightened around him, and Tommy let go inside her as he watched her face redden while she held her breath. When she finally released her breath, she released a mix between a whine and a sigh, and her body fell slack. Her eyes were closed as she tried to catch her breath.  
Ellie licked her lips, small mewls releasing her as she reeled, still high from her climax. Tommy began to slowly withdrawal from her, but she tightened her leg around him.  
“Not yet.” She sighed before she opened her heavy eyelids.  
He laid over her and caressed her cheek before she moved her leg.   
“Are you alright?” Tommy asked gently.  
She chuckled and looked at him, her eyelids still drooping. “I don’t think there is a word for how alright I am.”  
Ellie moaned as he slowly removed himself, her body still sensitive. They found their clothes and as they began to walk to the house Ellie stumbled, grabbing onto Tommy’s arm. He looked at her and raised his eyebrows, a knowing look in his eye.   
“It’s been two years. I’m allowed a stumble or two!”  
They laughed and Tommy grabbed Ellie’s hand while she kept the other one around his arm. He pointed out his horses and watched them roam in the field while Ellie looked at him. She had moved on from John long ago by sheer force, but never would she have thought when she came back to Birmingham that she would sleep with his brother. She never noticed him before because her world began and ended with John but since she had returned, she found herself flirting with him more than she should.   
“You aren’t going to tell your family that we had sex, are you?” She asked before they got to the back-entrance door.  
“Why would I?”  
“I mean, I don’t think John would care but-“  
“Ellie, I don’t have to explain what I do in my personal life to my family. Who I fuck is none of their business.”  
They walked in the house and immediately froze.   
“Did you forget we were coming for dinner?” Polly asked as she motioned to the entire Shelby family staring at the two of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Fuck! Ellie thought Fuckfuckfuck.  
“How long have you been here?” He asked.  
“Almost an hour. Francis offered to go find you, but I told her we would wait until your” Her eyes flicked to their hands, which they immediately released. “TOUR was finished.”  
Ellie’s stomach fell when she noticed John. His jaw was clenched, along with his fists, and he refused to look at her.   
“I should go.” Ellie said quietly.  
“You’re not here for dinner?” Polly asked. “I assumed you just arrived early.”  
Ellie stared at Polly, not knowing what to say.  
“No. I, um, I’m not hungry.” Ellie said as she began to walk past Polly, heading for the foyer.  
“I see. Well, I do hope your tour met your expectations.” Polly yelled after Ellie before turning to stare daggers at her nephew.  
Tommy glanced in his dining room and saw food on the table ready for them. After instructing them to make their way to the table, Tommy went to walk Ellie out.   
“Did you forget?” She turned on him.  
“What?”  
“That they were coming, did you forget? Or did you plan this? I mean, we already know you planned to have sex with me, was this the final step in your plan? Walk in front of your whole family looking ‘just fucked’?”  
“No. Ellie, I forgot.”  
“You said you didn’t want any trouble! This is trouble.” She said as she pointed to the house, motioning the people inside. “And it’s your doing, NOT mine.”  
“I know. It’s my fault. I forgot about dinner, we set it up a week ago.”  
“They’re all going to hate me.” She said, worry covering her face before she buried it in her hands. “I didn’t want this.”  
“Hey…” Tommy coaxed as he lifter her face from her hands and held them in his. “You’re thinking too much. Everything’s going to be alright.” He lent down and kissed her gently. As they broke apart, he looked deep in her eyes and said, “Eh?” to which she nodded her agreeance.  
“You sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” He asked.  
Ellie immediately laughed. “Oh, no! You are facing that pack of wolves on your own!”  
______________________________  
Dinner was quiet and the family left directly after eating. John didn’t say anything, nor did he look at his brother and Esme stared at John scornfully. As everyone left Tommy turned around to find Polly staring at him with her usual imperial glare.  
“What?” He asked.  
“Ellie Tanner? Honestly, Tommy? You’re going to fuck Ellie Tanner?”  
Tommy ignored her and walked to his office, Polly following.   
“So, is this to get at John? To start a fight between the two of you? Or is it to start a fight between him and Esme?”  
“No one is going to fight, alright.” Tommy raised his voice.  
“He loves her Tommy! He has always loved her, he-“  
“Is married!” Tommy interrupted. “John is fucking married.”  
“So, you are going to fuck her simply because he can’t? And then you are going to parade around like a fucking-“ Polly cut herself off, her irritation too much.  
“I forgot you were coming for dinner.” He sternly insisted.  
“Oh, don’t feed me that horse shit, Tommy! It might work on her, but I know you a hell of a lot better than that. You knew what you were doing and who would be here when you got done doing it.”  
“ENOUGH Pol! Enough. What they had was a long time ago. John is married. And Ellie is…”  
“Is what, Tommy?” Polly prodded.  
“Is attractive, alright? She’s attractive. And if I want to fuck an attractive woman, then I will. And I won’t apologize for it.”  
Five days had gone by since Ellie had sex with Tommy, and she found her sexual appetite re-awoken. She was in the middle of an intense and arousing dream when a knock on her door woke her. She walked sleepily and angrily to the door, swinging it open.  
“Why did you do it?” He asked as he walked in.  
“John? What are you doing here?” Ellie asked shocked, looking out the door to see if anyone else was with him or watching. “Are you drunk?”  
“No. I just haven’t been able to sleep since I saw you with him. Of all the men in Birmingham, why did you have to fuck my brother?” He asked again as she turned to him, shutting the door behind her.  
“I-I didn’t mean to choose him. It just kind of happened.” She shrugged.  
“No. No it didn’t just happen. You went to his house! But… You were mine.” John said with tears in his eyes.  
“John…” She said in a pitying voice. “You’re married.”  
“I know, but you were still mine. They couldn’t have you. And you- you let him.”  
Ellie opened her mouth to say something but found no words. John walked to her and held her face.   
“Tell me you don’t love me anymore.” He begged, searching her eyes.  
“John, it’s not- that was a long time ago.”  
“I don’t care. I still love you.” He insisted as he shook his head.  
“John, you’re MARRIED!” She said breaking free from his hands.  
“I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I still think of you. Even before you returned, I would wonder where you were or what you were doing. I never stopped loving you.”  
Ellie released a sob she didn’t know she was holding in and John held her face once more.  
“All you have to do is tell me you don’t love me, and I will leave, and you can fuck Tommy and I won’t say another word about it.”  
Ellie looked up at him as a tear fell from her eye. She shook her head, unable to say the words he told her to, and he pulled her mouth to his. The moment their lips touched, they forgot all reason. Ellie leaned onto her toes before John picked up her thighs and she wrapped them around him. He walked into a wall and held her against it as she pushed off his coat as fast as she could. John devoured her mouth once more and began walking to the bedroom, knowing the way after collecting debts from the previous tenant.   
John laid her on the bed, her legs still wrapped around him and began unbuttoning his own shirt while she untied her silk robe, exposing the slip she had slept in. John stared down at her in the thin cream colored slip, able to see every inch of skin that lay beneath. Pulling his arms out of his shirt he leaned over her and took her nipple into his mouth through her slip.   
He reached up and grabbed her straps, pulling them over her shoulders and down her body, freeing her breasts. He planted kisses and sucked on her skin following his hands until he finally slipped it over her legs and threw it away.  
John looked down at her body. He had seen it before, but her body was so different than when they were young. She was no longer a sixteen-year-old girl, but a woman with beautiful curves and fuller breasts. His sixteen-year-old self had thought there was no way she could get any more beautiful but as he looked at her, he was mesmerized.   
He leaned back over her and took his time kissing and exploring her body while his hand traveled up her thigh to find her wet and wanting. His thumb circled her clit as he took her nipple into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. Ellie leaned her head back and moaned, appreciating his touch. He slipped a finger inside her, continuing his circular motion with his thumb as he worked his mouth down her stomach. Finally, he replaced his thumb with his tongue and Ellie’s back arched off the bed.   
He pushed his finger inside her before entering another one and he could feel her growing wetter around his fingers. He leaned up to free himself from his trousers and Ellie sat up, grabbing his face and pulling him down onto her, tasting herself in his mouth. John freed himself as Ellie wrapped her legs around him again. John inserted himself quickly, not wanting to wait another second and Ellie cried out, shaking around him.   
He watched her face as she came off her orgasm and memorized each line and expression. He thrust into her, and rotated his hips giving her a wonderful friction that almost immediately began her buildup again. John kissed her softly and Ellie kissed him back as she moved her hips to meet his and add to her pleasure.   
“Ellie…” He whispered delicately to which she whispered back, “John..”  
Their fingers intertwined on the bed just above her head and they continued to make love to each other as if the past fifteen years were just a bad dream.


	6. Chapter 6

Afterwards, Ellie sat wrapped in blankets on her bed facing the wall away from John as he dressed. Hot tears pricked her eyes as she thought about what she had just done.   
“Ellie?” John said watching her with worried eyes.  
Ellie shook her head.   
“Ellie, look at me please.” He asked as he walked around the bed to see her face.  
Ellie turned her head away from him, avoiding his eye as her nose grew red from trying to suppress her tears.  
“What’s wrong?” He asked as he knelt in front of her.  
At his question, Ellie abruptly turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide and angry.  
“ALL of this is wrong!” She said as a tear escaped her. “You are MARRIED! How many times do I have to say that!”  
“I know, but-“  
“No! There’s no ‘but’s. You are married, that’s it! We can’t be together!” Ellie stood, holding the blankets tight around her and began to walk away from him, but John grabbed her arm.  
“Let’s just talk about this. Please, Ellie?”  
“I’m not this person, John. I don’t sleep with married men.” She pressed as she looked him in the eye, hurt and disappointed in herself.  
“No one is going to know.” He insisted.  
“I will know!” Another tear fell from her eye.  
“Hey,” John said as he wiped away the tear. “Don’t cry. Please. It will be alright.”  
“Do you know what will happen if Tommy finds out?” Ellie pointed out.  
John clenched his jaw and looked away from her. “So, we are back to that? Tommy?”  
“What? This isn’t about me sleeping with him! If he finds out or if your wife finds out-“  
“They won’t!” John said raising his voice. “Look. I didn’t come here to sleep with you, I came here to find out why you slept with Tommy. You-You betrayed me!”  
“Betrayed you? John, I don’t belong to you! I haven’t for a long time now! I am free to have sex with whomever I choose!”  
“Except me?” John asked.  
Ellie took a deep breath and walked to him. “Unfortunately, yes. You’re married. I don’t want to be that type of woman, John. Please don’t ask me to be.”  
John looked away from her, his jaw clenched as he tried to hide his emotion.   
“You always had such a big heart…” Ellie said as she touched his face and turned it to her. “But you have to let me go, John. For the sake of all of us.” She paused before dropping her hand and adding, “Or I will have no choice but to leave.”  
John shook his head walking away from her toward the door. “You’re just like your father, running from your problems.”  
“Don’t you dare say that! You have put me in a very difficult situation! Hey!” She called after him as he walked away from her. “You know I’m right in this!” She insisted as she followed him. “John!” she yelled before he opened the door, slamming it shut behind him.   
Ellie was on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor when Tommy walked in the pub. Stopping to watch her, he tilted his head.   
“What?” Ellie asked nastily.  
“What are you doing?” He responded.  
“Why do you always answer a question with a question?” She retorted hotly.  
“I don’t.”  
Ellie growled before she threw down her brush and stood. “What do you want? My numbers are in the accounting book on my desk if that’s what you’re after.”  
Tommy looked at her, genuinely confused by her hostility.  
Ellie rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day already. What do you need?”  
“Nothing.” Tommy said with a small shrug. “Want to talk about it?”  
“No.” Ellie responded instantly.   
“Take a walk with me?”  
“I’m not having sex with you.”  
“I didn’t ask you to.” He pointed out and she conceded.  
They walked silently along the canal, Ellie’s head confused.   
“Sometimes I wonder if I should have married him.” Ellie confessed.  
“Who?”   
“Edgar. He couldn’t satisfy me, but he had money. Perhaps I should have settled for that. I could always just satisfy myself after he’d gone to work.”  
Tommy raised his eyebrows, humor displayed on his face.  
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious! Who needs good sex when you can have money and a simple life?”  
“Personally, I’d choose sex.”  
“Of course you would.” Ellie rolled her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips.  
Tommy waited a moment before he stopped and grabbed her hand. “You don’t have to apologize for going after what you want.”  
Ellie looked at him. She knew he meant himself but a part of her thought he should have chosen a different statement.   
“You are allowed to live your life. Regardless of what happened when you were a kid.” He continued before he leaned down and kissed her.  
“What if I don’t know what I want?” She asked as they withdrew their lips from one another.   
“Then you make it up as you go along.”  
“Is that what you do? Just make it up as you go?” she asked with a chuckle and Tommy grinned.  
“No. I always know what I want.”  
“And what’s that?” Ellie asked, her tone serious. She was partially afraid he would say her because as much as she enjoyed his company, and the sex, she couldn’t say she was falling in love with him.  
“Money and good sex.” He replied, his smile growing larger.  
Ellie scoffed and playfully hit his chest as she turned and began walking. “Tommy Shelby, I was being serious.”  
“So was I.” He admitted.  
When they arrived back at the pub Tommy said, “I’ve got a meeting with a business colleague tomorrow and I am going to have it at The Garrison.”  
“Why at the Garrison? Why not your office?” Ellie asked.  
Tommy simply looked at her, not giving a response.   
______________________________________________  
The next morning Tommy came to the Garrison early. Ellie was in the back office and jumped slightly when Tommy walked in.   
“Am I interrupting?” He asked as he paused.  
“Yes. I am sleeping on the job. You’ll have to come back at another time.” She said before she stuck her nose cheekily in the air.   
“Oh?” He said with a grin as he walked up to where she sat and kissed her on the forehead.   
The moment his lips touched her she felt a slight tickle between her legs. Ellie cleared her throat and looked at the clock on the wall.   
“You’re early.” She pointed out.  
“He has a tendency to arrive early.” Tommy said as he began looking at the accounting book.  
“Did you come alone?” She asked, her tone betraying her and causing Tommy to turn slowly to her.   
“Yes.”  
Ellie looked up at him through her lashes, her dark blue eyes turning black. Tommy clenched his jaw.   
“What happened to wanting a simple life rather than good sex?”  
“You told me I can have whatever I want…” she breathed.  
“And what do you want?” He asked as he walked toward her.   
“Good sex.” She admitted with a smile and Tommy leaned down to kiss her.   
He kissed her softly but passionately before swiping the desk free from books and papers. He lifted her to sit on the desk and quickly slipped his hands under her dress to pull down her knickers. Knowing he didn’t have a lot of time before his brothers arrived, he began to unbutton his trousers. Ellie wrapped her legs around him as he positioned himself and he swiftly entered her, causing her to gasp. Ellie bit his bottom lip as he pushed into her quickly, the desk rattling and moving slightly with each thrust.   
Pulling her hips to the edge of the desk, Tommy hit her deeply and perfectly and Ellie moaned louder each time. He held her waist and Ellie tilted her head back, a smile on her face to compliment the pleasure she was feeling. Pressure began to build low in her stomach and she could feel her legs begin to shake.   
“Oh! Tommy!” She cried.   
She put her hand behind his head as she leaned up, Tommy buried his head in her neck. Ellie put her free hand flat on the desk to give her some leverage to match his thrusts as she drew closer. She whined in his ear before he gave a final thrust to send her over the edge, her eyes rolling back and his name on her lips. His fingers dug into her hips as she tightened around him in her climax and when she finally began to come down from her high, he released himself inside her.   
They remained still, breathing heavy before Tommy withdrew himself.   
“Why do you always come out so quickly?” She asked, her eyes still closed before she licked her lips and opened them.   
“How long would you like me to stay in?” He asked with a smirk.  
“Till you’re ready to go again.” She said flirtatiously.  
Tommy shook his head at her in amusement. “I don’t think two years without an orgasm has had any effect on you.” He joked.  
“No. I didn’t miss them at all.” She teased as she jumped from the desk and knelt to pick up her knickers. “I’ve only had three amazing orgasms in the last week because I can’t stop craving them now. Thanks for that, by the way.”  
Tommy stopped and looked at her. “Three?”  
Ellie paused, realizing what she had just confessed to.   
“This is only the second time we’ve had sex.” He pointed out, a crease forming between his brow.  
“I know.” Ellie said gaining her composure and putting a coy smirk on her face as she decided on a lie. “But I have a very friendly bath faucet I like to sit under.”  
Tommy’s eyebrows shot up.  
“What? It’s not like you’re around every time I have a need.” She said as she shrugged and walked by him.  
Ellie walked out of the office with Tommy behind her and stopped as she saw Arthur, John, and Michael.   
“Every fucking time!” She said exasperated.   
“So, uh, you’ve forgotten all about your celibate fiancé, have ya?” Arthur asked with an ornery smile.  
Ellie rolled her eyes. “We weren’t celibate. And did you tell everyone about that?” She shot at John.  
John stared at her, jealousy written all over his face.   
They heard the squeaking of car brakes outside followed by doors opening and closing.   
“They’re here. C’mon boys!” Tommy said as he motioned to the private room to the right of the bar. “Whiskey.” he said to Ellie and she nodded.  
Ellie picked up a bottle of whiskey from the wall behind the bar and turned as she heard footsteps entering the pub. She gave a small shriek when she turned to find a broad Jewish man staring at her, his eyes dancing.   
“Hello, Ellie.” Alfie Solomons greeted, and Ellie’s face and ears began to burn a bright red.


	7. Chapter 7

Ellie’s body went warm as she looked at Alfie, her cheeks and ears burning.   
“How long’s it been, love?” Alfie asked his eyes boring into her, causing her breath to hitch and her vocabulary to escape her.  
“U-um…..” She stammered. “Two-“ She tried but her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. Her eyes never leaving his. “Two years.” She finally answered.  
“Two years? Well, we will have to… catch up soon, won’t we treacle?” He responded with an emphasis on ‘catch up’ and Ellie swallowed.  
Tommy cleared his throat, jealousy bubbling in his stomach at the effect Alfie had on the woman he had just fucked not 20 minutes earlier. “So, the two of you know each other?” He asked.  
“Mm. We did know each other, yeah.” Alfie answered, a playful smile on his lips as Ellie stood transfixed in his presence.   
“Whiskey, Ellie.” Tommy said, irritated evident in his voice.  
Ellie nodded, slowly and reluctantly dragging her eyes from Alfie’s. She placed the whiskey bottle out for Tommy. Tommy took it and watched as her eyes cut back to Alfie, her eyes traveling slowly up his body and her chest growing red.   
“Glasses, Elizabeth.” Tommy ordered harshly, dragging her attention back to him.   
“Oh, right. Sorry.” She stammered as she turned to gather enough glasses for all the men.  
“C’mon, Alfie.” Tommy said as he ushered Alfie to the room, ready to start business so Alfie could leave.  
Ellie’s shaking hands gathered the glasses and walked around the bar. Taking a shaky breath to try and stabilize herself, she opened the door and began placing glasses and another whiskey bottle on the table.   
The men chattered quietly, Arthur giving nasty looks in Alfie’s direction as he listened to John.   
“Here. Let me help you with that.” Alfie offered and he moved to grab a glass from her.   
His hand brushed hers and Ellie jumped, dropping the glass but Alfie caught it before it hit the ground. He offered it up to her.   
“Uh, Th-thank you.” She said breathlessly.   
“Are you alright?” Alfie continued as the room grew quiet. “You seem a bit distressed.” He went on as he brushed a lock of hair from her face and put it behind her ear, his finger running down her neck.   
Ellie gasped a small breath as her eyes went glassy and dark. She could feel her nipples growing hard under her dress and she swallowed, her breathing picking up. Tension grew in the room as the Shelby men watched the interaction. Jealousy seethed through John and Tommy. It took all of Tommy’s self-control not to pull out his gun and John’s fists were clenched so tight; he was sure his palms would bleed.  
Ellie looked away from Alfie’s eyes, at his lips and she unknowingly licked her own. Having had enough, Tommy stood and walked toward her.   
“Right, well, we have business. And you have inventory.” Tommy said as he put his hand on the small of Ellie’s back and pushed her out the door, closing it behind her.   
Ellie blinked and almost ran to the restroom to splash cold water on her face. She breathed as though she had run to London and back before she looked up in the mirror. Her cheeks and chest were rosy, and her nipples were visible through her dress. She swallowed and closed her eyes, feeling the soft satin fabric around her wrists, above her head, as Alfie kissed down her body. Ellie leaned against the door, feeling her wetness beginning to move down the inside of her thigh at the thought of Alfie’s beard tickling her thigh as his tongue teased her maliciously. Unable to stand it, she slipped her hand under her dress and felt her dripping wet folds.   
“Fuck.” She whispered. “I just had sex with Tommy. This can’t be happening.”   
Ellie tried to reason with herself, wanting to resist the strong urges the memories of Alfie brought to her. She released a moan without touching herself, picturing Alfie on top of her as she was tied to the bed by her wrists. Unable to resist any longer, Ellie slipped a finger up to her clit and began making small circles. She continued, the visions from her night with Alfie pushing her closer and closer to her second orgasm of the day until finally she fell apart to her memories.  
Coming off her high, the realization of what she had just done crept down on her.   
“Ugh!” She groaned as she began to wash her hands and composed herself.   
As Ellie walked out of the restroom she slammed into a figure. Taking a step, back she looked up and saw Alfie’s full lips grinning down at her.   
“Remembering me?” He asked.   
“What are you doing out here?” she breathed.  
“Long drive.” Alfie said as he took a step closer. “There’s not a toilet worth using between here and London…. Or at least that what I told your boss.”  
“H-he’ll be looking for me.”   
“No.” Alfie smiled, “He thinks you pulled a runner.”  
Ellie looked at Alfie, her body once more growing warm.  
“Are you going to answer my question, Ellie?” He said in a low seductive growl as his nose dropped down to her ear. “Were you thinking of me?”  
“I-I don’t know w-what you’re talking ab-bout.” She replied, using all of her strength to control her breathing.  
“I heard you in there.” He breathed as his hand brushed the inside of her knee and Ellie’s breathing picked up. “Every beautiful moan that escaped your lips…” he went on, his hand going higher up her thigh.   
Before his hand reached her, he removed it. Ellie released a breath she had been holding and looked at him dreamily. He rubbed a knuckle over her visible nipple and looked in her eyes.   
“Here’s my card. Address is on the back. Come any time you like.” His low gravely voice took over her senses before he chuckled at his choice of words. He released a low breathy growl into her ear before he stepped back and walked away, leaving her leaning against the door, his card in her hand.


	8. Chapter 8

Ellie remained in her office with the door closed, hiding from both Tommy and Alfie. She could hear footsteps and Alfie’s voice, and she looked nervously at the door. She heard heavy, brisk footsteps coming toward the door and she exhaled a shaky breath. Tommy opened the door with John hot on his heels and the two of them stared angrily at her.   
“What was that about?” John finally spat.   
Ellie looked down at her desk and said nothing.   
“You were practically on your knees begging for his cock!” John continued.  
“How do you know him, Ellie?” Tommy asked, ignoring John’s last comment.   
“We met two years ago when we were both on holiday in Cornwall.” Ellie said quietly, not looking up.   
“And?” John pressed.  
Ellie sighed heavily and looked up. “And we… slept together... a lot actually.”  
“So when he said he knew you-“ Tommy started before Ellie interrupted him.  
“I’m fairly certain he was meaning biblically.”  
“When you say, ‘a lot’,” John said, “How many times are you meaning?”  
“I don’t have a number.” Ellie confessed with a shrug. “We spent the whole week having sex.” Ellie’s face began to redden.  
“So? You’ve had sex with me and you’re not a stumbling fool around me.” John said, resentment evident in his tone.  
“Alfie has….” She started before she stood and turned around to absent mindedly fidget with some boxes, hiding her face from them. “particular tastes.”  
The two remained silent and Ellie wondered if they had left. When she turned around, she saw the men staring at her and knew Tommy wanted her to elaborate.   
“He just… he… did things to me that I have never considered doing before. And I certainly didn’t think I would enjoy, but..” Ellie’s face flushed deeper.  
“Like what? I need specifics, Ellie.” John insisted and Ellie’s eyes widened.   
“I am not going to give you specifics of my sex life with other men!” She said, raising her voice at him. “I have already told you more than your fair share. The rest remains between me and Alfie.”  
“Not when he makes your nipples hard in front of an entire room!”  
“So, it’s jealousy then? That’s why you’re angry? Because the memory of being bound and practically punished by Alfie arouses me?”  
At her words, John and Tommy’s head both inclined to her as if they hadn’t heard her right.   
“Did you say punished?” John asked as Arthur walked up behind them.   
“Who’s getting punished?” Arthur asked joining in the conversation.  
“I fucked him before I knew I was ever coming back, and I didn’t know who he was at the time AND I didn’t work for you. If you want to be angry that’s your problem, but you have no right-”  
“I have every right to be angry about your behavior in there.” Tommy interjected and Ellie’s angry expression vanished. “If you can’t behave professionally when a business colleague of mine comes through the door then you need to look for other means of work.”  
Ellie’s eyes flashed briefly with hurt before her face filled with contempt. She held her head high, looking Tommy square in the face and said, “Yes, sir. You can expect my utmost professional behavior from here on. My work life will not again mix with my personal life. Now if you don’t mind, I have a pub to open.”  
Ellie strode past the men, and John looked at Tommy. “Did she say punished?”  
Three days later, Tommy came to the Garrison with his family to celebrate Ada’s birthday. Ellie hadn’t seen him or John since Alfie had come to town, nor did she want to. She acknowledged that Tommy’s jealousy was justified, having just had sex with him before she fell apart as the mere presence of another man. But she was not about to apologize for having sex with Alfie two years ago and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Tommy forget what he had said to her about her professionalism. He was her boss and he invited her to his house to sleep with him, then he had sex with her at work on her office desk. She seethed at his hypocrisy, imagining different arguments about the subject until she had successfully worked herself up to loathing him.   
When the Shelby’s walked in, Ellie told Ada ‘happy birthday’ and quickly turned away before Tommy could say something to her.   
Ellie gathered handed out drinks and took money with a smile on her face, all the while feeling Tommy’s eyes on her. After an hour of this, Tommy walked up to the bar.  
“What can I get you, Mr. Shelby?” Ellie asked sweetly, her kindness not resonating in her eyes.  
“Whiskey.” Tommy said as he put a cigarette in his mouth.   
“Of course, sir.” She replied before turning around to grab the whiskey bottle.   
She slammed the glass down in front of him and as she poured his drink, Tommy watched her jaw clench.  
“How has business been the last few days?” He asked.  
“Very well, sir.” She responded as she aggressively sat the bottle on the counter.  
“And William?” He started, asking about the young man hired to help her tend the pub.  
“He is learning quickly, sir.” She emphasized the word ‘sir’ as she gave him a sweet smile, her eyes tense.  
“C’mon. I think we need to talk in your office.” He said clenching his own jaw now.  
“Oh, sir. The pub is too busy for me to step away. Perhaps we can set up an appointment in your office tomorrow, Mr. Shelby.” She responded.   
“Ellie, stop calling me ‘sir’.”   
“What would you prefer me to call you, sir…. Boss?” Her lips tightened into a line.  
“Tommy. Like you always have.” He suggested, knowing she was challenging him.  
Ellie feigned shock, putting her hand on her chest. “Oh no, sir. That is much too personal.”  
Tommy sighed. “So, that’s what this is about?”  
“Sir?” She asked as if she didn’t know what he was referring to.  
“You are angry that I-“  
“No, sir.” Ellie said shaking her head. “You want professionalism from your employees. I completely understand. And I can assure you professionalism is ALL you will get from me.” Ellie shot him a nasty look and turned away to help another customer.  
Tommy clenched his jaw, his anger growing as he watched her. Slamming a hand down, he quickly walked around the bar and grabbed her by the elbow, forcing her away.   
Ellie tried to pull away and the pub watched as Tommy Shelby drug her to the back. He pushed her into her office and slammed the door behind him as she stumbled.   
“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, grabbing her elbow as it throbbed from his forcefulness.  
She walked toward the door, wanting to exit but he stepped in her path. She looked at him, slightly taken aback and she stepped to the side, aiming to go around him. Once again, Tommy stepped over into her path his hand held up to stop her.   
“Let me out!” She ordered.  
“No. Not until you talk to me.”  
“I don’t want to talk to you!” she shouted, trying once more and failing to get around him to the door.  
Tommy grabbed her wrists as she reached around him, and they struggled against one another. “You’re angry with me because I didn’t want you stumbling over Alfie any time he makes an appearance in Birmingham.”  
“No!” She said, still struggling to set herself free from his grasp. “I’m angry with you…” She explained through gritted teeth as Tommy forced her back against the wall. “Because you’re a hypocrite!”  
Tommy pinned her against the wall, his hands holding her wrists in place by her head.  
“A hypocrite?” He repeated.  
“Yes! You tell me you want professionalism or I can get lost but you are the most UNprofessional man I have ever met! Fucking his workers on the desk! Pulling her against her will away from her work where the entire pub can see! Shoving her against a fucking wall! Let. Go. Of. Me!”  
“You let Alfie bind you.” Tommy pointed out without thinking, immediately knowing it was the wrong thing to say.   
Ellie’s face flashed with anger and she spit in his face. Tommy immediately released her to wipe his face. He looked up at her angrily just as her hand was flying through the air. Tommy’s ears rung following her loud and sharp slap across his cheek. He stood there as Ellie flung open the door and stomped out.  
John was walking to the bar for another round when Ellie marched angrily past him, visibly upset.  
“Ellie, what’s wrong?” He asked but she said nothing as she continued to the door.  
“Where are you going?” He asked as he grabbed her forearm.   
Ellie spun quickly and jerked her arm from his grasp. “DON’T touch me!”   
“Then tell me where you’re going?” John insisted, genuinely concerned.   
“I’m leaving! I quit!”   
She turned on her heels and exited the pub, but John followed.   
“Ellie, what happened?”   
“Your brother is an ass!” She said as she turned to him. “You are all a bunch of asses!” She marched up to John and poked his chest as she went on. “You give people rules to follow, but you don’t follow them yourself! You think everyone is there for your entertainment, to do your bidding; but you never actually care about any of them. And let’s not forget about the women in the fucking town! Just there for a Shelby to have if he wants her and there is nothing she can do about it! She can’t even be fucking angry at a Shelby! Least of all Tommy Fucking Shelby!”  
“What did he do?” John asked, grabbing her by the upper arms so she would look at him.  
Before she could answer, Tommy and the remaining Shelby members walked outside.   
“John, let her go.” Tommy ordered as he neared them.   
Ellie shot Tommy a reproachful look and John released her, rounding on Tommy. John swung, catching Tommy off guard and punched him on the cheek so hard, Tommy fell to his hands and knees.


	9. Chapter 9

Tommy stumbled to his feet as John threw another blow. Dodging it, Tommy wrapped his arms around John’s waist and the two of them fell to the ground.   
“John!” Esme and Ada yelled in unison.   
“Let them go.” Polly said pursing her lips and putting a hand on Arthur’s chest as he began to step forward to break them up. “This was bound to happen eventually.” Polly shot a look at Ellie and held eye contact. Ellie stared back, her face solemn.   
John growled as the two men rolled around on the pavement, each trying to get the upper hand. Finally, Tommy pushed John away from him and stumbled to his feet, his hand outstretched.   
“What did you do to her?” John insisted.  
“I didn’t do FUCKING ANYTHING!” Tommy yelled. “This all has to do with her behavior with Alfie.”  
“MY behavior?” Ellie repeated, raising her voice. “This has nothing to do with MY behavior! MR. Shelby!”  
Tommy pointed at her, a warning in his eye. “If you call me ‘sir’…”   
“You’ll what?” Ellie asked, her eyebrows flying toward her hairline and her eyes growing large. “What are you going to do if I call you ‘sir’? Hmm? Fire me? It’s too late because I’ve already quit.”  
“You’re not quitting.” John interjected.  
“You don’t get to decide that.” Ellie replied.   
“Where else are you going to work? We own all of Birmingham!”  
“Then I will leave Birmingham.”   
“Oh, see what you’ve done now, Tommy?” John rolled his eyes at his brother.   
Tommy shot a warning look at John who turned away from him with his hands on his head.  
“So, now what?” John said holding his arms out. “You’re just going to leave again?”  
As he turned to face her, Ellie could see traces of emotion behind his eyes.   
“What about the other day? Did that mean anything to you?” He asked.  
Ellie glanced over at his family and his wife, who all looked confused.  
“What happened the other day?” Esme asked, but Ellie looked back at John and didn’t acknowledge her.  
“Don’t…. Don’t leave me again, Ellie. I need you here.” He confessed and Ellie’s eyes went wide. John drew closer to her and continued, “When I saw you again it was like I finally took a deep breath after being under water for fifteen years.”  
Ellie’s lips parted as she gazed up into John’s pleading eyes. She bit her lip and looked away, but John grabbed her face and moved it toward his. It was as if no one else existed in that moment.   
Ellie’s bottom lip trembled, “John.. You’re married. We can’t be together…”   
“I know. But that doesn’t mean I can’t want you here. Having you in the same town just brings everything together. This is how it’s meant to be.”  
Ellie shook her head. “No.” She said pulling away from him. “We were meant to be together! You promised!”   
The emotions and thoughts that she had suppressed all these years began making their way back to the surface.   
“You promised we would grow old together! And then you got married to someone else!”  
“Ellie-“ John tried but Ellie interrupted him.   
“NO! You are a fucking Shelby! You don’t just listen to people! You were supposed to come for me! You were supposed to fight for me! To tell my dad that I was leaving with you or you and your family would take his eyes! But, you just- you let me go, John.”  
Tears ran down Ellie’s face and the realization that she felt let down by him struck John deeper than he thought possible.   
“I didn’t- Ellie, I didn’t know you wanted me to.”  
“Of course I wanted you to! All I wanted was you! You were my whole world! The beginning and end to it.” She confessed with a slight shake of her head before she wiped her red nose. “And now it’s too late. It doesn’t matter what happened the other day or how much it meant to me. We got lost in a dream. And it was wonderful but that’s all it was... It can’t be reality.”  
Ellie looked over and saw Tommy standing in the distance. She shook her head and turned, walking away.   
_______________________________________________  
The Shelbys sat inside the Garrison long after it closed, not saying a word. Esme looked resentfully at her husband, putting together what had happened between him and Ellie. Meanwhile, John sat with his elbows resting on the table, his palms on the sides of his head as he stared blankly at the tabletop.   
“So, I, uh, need to hire a new bar manager, then?” Arthur finally said, breaking the silence.  
John lifted his face to stare at the ceiling, his eyes full of tears as he sniffed.  
“Ada, why don’t you and Lizzy take Esme home and sit with her till her husband gets there.” Tommy suggested.  
“I’m not leaving. Me and John have things to talk about.” Esme said.  
“You will go home, and you will wait for John. We won’t be long.” Tommy said assertively.  
“If that even is my home.”   
The entire family, including John turned their head to look at her.  
“What?” Tommy asked.  
“My husband slept with another woman. Adultery is grounds for divorce.”   
Tommy shook his head. “No. You married a Shelby, you’re going to stay married. The two of you can work out your problems when he gets home. He-“  
“You don’t get to decide that, Thomas!” Esme jumped to her feet. “I’m not a blood member of this family, I don’t have to listen to your orders about my marriage.”  
“Esme..” John spoke up. “You can go home. I promise, we’ll talk when I get there.”   
Esme scoffed at him but grabbed her belongings and left with Ada and Lizzy.   
Tommy looked at John expectantly.   
“Look. I know I can’t be with her, Tom.” John said as he looked away and wiped his nose. “But I need her here.”  
“No.” Tommy shook his head.   
“Why not?”   
“THIS is why not.” Tommy said, motioning to the situation.   
“You don’t understand. I was jealous!” John explained as Tommy stopped and listened. “You had sex with her. You’re my brother.”   
Tommy felt a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he saw the disappointment in John’s eyes. “You know I loved her. I still do. I moved on with my life like everyone wanted but I still loved her. And you took her from me. I know I’m married, and we can’t be together, but I would rather have her around and us not be able to be together than her be gone. What if it was you? And those were your only options with Grace?”  
Tommy clenched his jaw and exhaled a breath as he looked at his brother.  
_______________________________________  
Ellie quickly packed her luggage and walked out the door, tears streaming down her face. She ran to the train station, knowing the last train would be leaving soon. She walked up and asked for a ticket on the last train. Not looking to see where the train was taking her, she quickly boarded and sat, prepared to watch Birmingham vanish behind her. She leaned her head back against the seat and fell asleep.   
Ellie awoke when the train came to a stop. Blinking, she looked around and realized she was in London. She slowly exited the train and walked out of the station. The sky was black and had been for some time now, but the town was still very energetic. She walked, her head throbbing with the emotions she had experienced that evening. Finally, she decided to have a drink and walked into the next pub she came across.   
Ellie ordered a whiskey and sat in the corner drinking quietly. Though she had an argument with Tommy, her mind was filled with John. She had forgotten about the nights she had cried herself to sleep, pleading with the stars that he would come for her. She had often fantasized that they would meet again somewhere and passionately reunite in an epic love story like they did in books, but sitting in that bar, Ellie knew their life was no fairy tale or romantic love story.   
_______________________________________  
“When we get older, I’m going to buy you a house.” John said as they walked along the canal. “A big one, with a lot of bedrooms.”  
“And we can fill them with children!” Ellie said with a giggle.  
John smiled at her as she walked on the edge of the canal; her arms out to balance herself.   
“Yeah! Boys!” He added.  
“And girls! Little Beatrice and Catherine!” She added.  
“Beatrice?” He said as he skeptically looked at her.  
“Yes!” Ellie confirmed as she hit his arm. “Beatrice Jane Shelby.”   
Ellie put her hands around John’s neck as he looked down at her.   
“Promise me you will give me a daughter named Beatrice.” She said with a serious expression, but a twinkle in her eye.   
John wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “I will give you a hundred daughters if you want. And we can name them anything you like. I don’t care as long as they’re ours.”  
“And you’ll love them like you love me?”   
“I don’t think I will ever love anyone like I love you.” John said making Ellie give a bashful smile.   
“I can’t wait to give you children.” She said as he drew his face close to her.   
“We don’t have to wait, you know.”   
“What?” Ellie asked, her smile growing as her eyes shone with humor.  
“We can start, right now. Right here.” He suggested and Ellie laughed.   
“Oh? You just want to have sex with me right here?”   
“I would have sex with you anywhere you wanted.”   
Ellie’s face turned serious. “Do you think about it ever?”  
“Every day.” John admitted and Ellie blushed.  
“No one has ever seen me naked before. And I… I’ve never… you know…. seen one.” Her blush grew.  
“I bet you’re beautiful naked.” John said as he put his knuckle under her chin and raised her face to look at his.   
Ellie chewed on the inside of her cheek before she looked around to see if they were still alone by the canal. “Can I…” Her eyes flicked to his trousers. “Can I see it?”   
___________________________________________  
A glass drew Ellie from her thoughts as its owner sat down opposite her at the table and she looked up and sucked in a tight breath.  
“Well, now. Isn’t this opportunistic.” Alfie said with a naughty smile.


	10. Chapter 10

“What are you doing here?” Ellie asked.   
Alfie chuckled, “You’re in my part of London, treacle.”  
“Oh.” Ellie mumbled before glancing around. “Right.”  
“So, what happened?” Alfie asked.  
“What?” She asked, furrowing her brow.  
Alfie rolled his eyes. “You’re a woman, alone in a bar, a long way from Birmingham I might add. You’re staring at your drink which you haven’t touched, and you have luggage. It doesn’t take a genius to know what that means.”  
“And what does it mean?” Ellie asked, immediately growing defensive.   
Alfie blinked and his eyes turned soft as he looked at her with a gentle, understanding smile. Ellie’s defensiveness seeped away, and her shoulders sagged.   
Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“Well, if you are going to drink about it; then I suggest actually taking a drink.”  
Ellie cut her eyes at him, a slight grin playing at the edges of her lips. “Are you always so cheeky?”  
“Yes.” Alfie admitted with a smile.   
“You got me in a great deal of trouble when you showed up, you know.”  
Alfie’s smile grew. “All I did was attend a business meeting.”  
Ellie rolled her eyes at him.   
“You were the one dripping through her knickers.” Alfie added in a low voice.  
Ellie’s heart raced at the change of his tone. “I couldn’t help it.” She shrugged innocently.   
Alfie looked deep in her eyes as he began to move around the table. Ellie stared back, transfixed. He put his hand on her knee as he sat by her and she inhaled a shaky breath. He slowly pushed her skirt above her knee and began to draw small circles on her skin with his finger.   
“No?” He asked, continuing their conversation.   
“N-no..” She said as she blinked slowly, her body responding to the feeling of his touch.   
His hand slowly moved up the inside of her thigh. Ellie bit her lip and glanced around the pub to see if anyone was watching.   
“No.” Alfie shook his head. “Don’t look at them. Look at me.”  
Ellie obeyed, licking her lips as she looked in his eyes. She clenched her jaw as his hand slipped all the way up, and he ran a slow tantalizing swipe up her entrance to her clit. He rubbed a small circle on her clit before moving his hand back down to insert a finger in her.   
Ellie leaned her head back, closing her eyes. Alfie watched tentatively, clenching his jaw with a smile playing on his lips as she began to fall apart in public at his touch. Ellie moaned as her lips parted and Alfie leaned close.   
“Shh.” Alfie whispered in her ear as her chest began to rise and fast quicker. “Keep making sounds like that and we will have an audience.”  
He worked his finger in and out of her as his thumb rubbed circles, making her juices almost pour from her. She leaned forward, as did he, until their foreheads touched. Ellie grabbed his face and planted her lips firmly on his. She sucked on his bottom lip, another moan escaping her throat.   
“Correct me, treacle, but I believe this is how we met…” Alfie said. “My hand up your skirt, at a pub.”  
Ellie nodded slowly. Alfie inserted another finger and Ellie placed her hands on his shoulder. She moaned again and Alfie shushed her once more. She released a pained whine as she attempted to stifle her moans.  
“Alfie..” She whispered. “I want you to..”  
He waited a moment for her to finish her sentence, when she didn’t, he asked. “You want me to what?”  
Her breathing sped up when his hand did, and she tried again. “I want t-to…”  
“You have to tell me what you want, Ellie…. Tell me what you want, and you can have it.” Alfie said seductively as he picked up the speed of his fingers once more.  
Ellie looked at him, a deep telling look and Alfie smiled. “Mm. You want to play?” she nodded before she squeezed the fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes.  
As she began to tremble around his fingers, Alfie stopped and withdrew his hand from under her dress.   
Ellie’s eyes sprung open and she looked at him in desperation. “Why did you stop?” She breathed.   
“You finish.” Alfie ordered.   
Her eyes widened and she looked around again. “I- We- What?” She said as she lowered her voice.  
“You heard me. Finish. Touch yourself. Show me how bad you want me to take you and have my way with you.”  
“Someone might see.” She said as she glanced to the table nearest her.   
Alfie stared at her, daring her with his eyes. Shock and fear replaced itself with excitement at what he was telling her to do and a salacious smile embodied her lips. She put her hand on the outside of her thigh and moved her hand up, under her dress. Alfie’s lips parted when she slipped her hand down the front of her knickers. She looked at him, her eyes hot and wicked and Alfie nodded, urging her to go on. She took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly before her chest began to heave with her breathing.   
The excitement of him watching her combined with the thought that someone could be watching her touch herself in public made Ellie’s body hot. Alfie could see her hand moving under her dress and he leaned up slightly as his trousers grew tight. Ellie bit her lip as she locked eyes with his. She could see the lust in his eyes as her climax sat on the edge. Alfie could sense her orgasm coming and knew her climax would draw attention, so he leaned forward and planted his lips on hers as she moaned into his mouth, pulsating around her own fingers.  
As she removed her hand from under her skirt, Alfie grabbed her wrist and brought her hand to his mouth. Her eyes went wide as he put his mouth around her fingers, tasting her on her hands.   
“Let’s go.” He said, still holding her wrist and the two of them left the pub quickly, Alfie carrying her luggage.   
______________________________  
They walked in the door, their lips never parting, and Alfie dropped her luggage by the door and pushed her against the wall. He held her face as he kissed her passionately. He wrapped his arm around her waist and walked her toward the bedroom. Alfie unbuttoned the back of her dress and pulled it over her head as they entered his bedroom. Slowly, he grabbed the bottom of her slip and pulled it off, throwing it to the side.   
He kissed her before he whispered, “Undress.” And turned toward a chest of drawers.   
Ellie did as she was told until she stood before him naked and he turned to look at her, his eyes dark and his erection bulging against his trousers. Alfie held up a silk handkerchief as he walked toward her.   
“Turn around.” He ordered and she obeyed.   
He tied her wrists behind her body and Ellie tested her restraints. Alfie wrapped his arms around her naked waist and growled in her ear. “You’re not going anywhere. You belong to me.”  
“Do I?” Ellie challenged and Alfie smiled.   
He grabbed a handful of hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her head back, causing Ellie to hiss through her teeth.   
“Yes.” He growled and he walked her to the bed, still holding onto her hair.   
Alfie turned her around and kissed her as he led her further onto the bed. She scooted with her hands still tied behind her until he put his hand between her legs and began to once again, massage her clit. His mouth moved down to her neck and slowly to her chest until he took one of her breasts in his mouth. He sucked on her nipple, flicking it with his tongue as she began to writhe beneath him. He took her other nipple in his free hand and began to twist and pull. The assault of his two hands and his mouth drove her to the edge quickly and she exploded around his fingers.   
“Mm. So responsive.” He growled seductively and Ellie whined.   
Alfie reached into the bedside table and removed a thick pillar candle and placed it on the table. Her eyes went wide as he took out a lighter and lit the candle.  
“What’s that for?” She asked as it began to melt, and he kissed her again.   
“Shh.” He urged before he leaned up and removed his shirt.   
“Alfie..” She said, her voice unsure.   
Alfie leaned up and grabbed the candle, moving it to hover above her shoulder.   
“It’s alright. Feel.” He gently tipped the candle, allowing the wax to fall to her shoulder and Ellie gasped, expecting it to scorch her skin.   
She looked at her shoulder then up at him.   
“Too much?” He asked and she shook her head.  
Alfie reached back into the drawer and pulled out a satin blindfold. Ellie lifted her head and he tied it around her. He put his hand between her legs again, helping her to relax with his motion before he withdrew it. The anticipation of not being able to see or move her hands drove Ellie’s excitement higher.   
Suddenly she felt the burn of the candle wax on her chest and she jumped.   
“Ah!” She cried out as the sting shot tingles between her legs.   
He ran the wax down her chest to her stomach and dribbled it just above her pubic hair.   
She ached for contact as she heard him put the candle aside. She squeezed her thighs together, moving her legs, hoping to relieve some of her ache.  
Alfie growled as he put his hand between her knees.   
“Impatient?” He asked before tutting her.   
“Yes, please.” She breathed.   
He kissed her and grabbed her hips. He flipped her over, onto her stomach and she turned her head, her cheek laying on the bed. He undid her blindfold and pulled her hips up to him. Undoing his trousers, he gave a small exhale as his aching cock was freed. He slowly entered her and they both released appreciative moans.   
He removed himself, then pushed forcefully inside her. Ellie moaned as he continued, her vulnerable position and the knowledge that her pleasure was at his mercy increasing her craving for him. She began to feel that familiar build up inside her as Alfie drew her closer to her third climax. Alfie reached down and wrapped his hand in her hair before pulling off her face to her knees. He wrapped his arm around her waist and grasped her breast as he continued to thrust inside her. Alfie kissed her neck and listened to her cries of pleasure. He released her hair and moved his hand to rub her, using the motion he knew she liked until her body shook against him. He helped her ride her final orgasm to the top before he came inside her, and she went slack against him.   
She breathed heavy, releasing small whines.   
“Are you okay?” he whispered in her ear and she nodded sleepily.   
Alfie leaned back and untied her wrists, then urged her to lay down. He wrapped his arm under her head and began to massage her wrists where she had been bound until she had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Ellie awoke the next morning curled into Alfie, his face buried in her hair while he snored lightly in her ear. She chuckled and he stirred.  
“Morning.” He grunted.   
“Good morning.”   
“So, you going to tell me what had you running from Birmingham?” He asked, not opening his eyes.  
“That’s almost like pillow talk, isn’t it?” She said as she leaned onto her wrists and moved toward the bottom of the bed.   
“What are you doing?”   
Ellie looked up at Alfie and smiled as she slowly pulled the blanket down his body.  
“You’re going to distract me, so you don’t have to talk about it?” Alfie asked.  
“Mhm.” Ellie said nodding her head as she revealed him. She kissed his shaft, then planted kisses up until she reached the tip. “This is much more entertaining.”   
Alfie rested his head against the pillow and closed his eyes as she took him in her mouth.   
___________________________________________  
Ellie took a bite of toast as Alfie mixed jam into his eggs. He looked up at her as he took a bite and raised his eyebrows.   
Knowing she wasn’t going to get out of telling him, Ellie rolled her eyes and said. “I slept with Tommy, then I acted like a fool in front of you and he was jealous.”  
“That’s it? That’s what’s got you leaving Birmingham?” Alfie asked unbelieving.  
“Well, no. We had a row. He told me I needed to be professional even though he fucked me on my desk AT WORK just a few minutes before you got there.”  
Alfie laughed.   
“It’s not funny!” Ellie said as she threw her toast at him.   
Alfie picked up her toast and took a bite. “You acted like that when I walked in, AFTER Tommy Shelby fucked you?” Alfie looked proud of himself. “So, you had a row and you left?”   
Ellie dropped her eyes. “I also.. slept with his brother.” She confessed.   
“John.” Alfie said nodding.  
Ellie looked up at him in confusion. “How did you-“  
“You said his name in your sleep last night.”  
“Oh. I’m sorry.”   
“No.” Alfie said waving a hand at her as he put down his fork. “Don’t be. I don’t give a fuck. “  
Ellie grinned, “As long as you get to fuck.”  
Alfie pointed at her, telling her she was right. “Did he run you out?”  
“No. Me and John have a past.” Ellie said before she quietly added, “I love him. I have since I was sixteen.”  
Alfie grunted in understanding. “Which is why you didn’t marry Sir Cunt then, yeah?”  
Ellie gave him an exasperated look before sighing. “What do I do?” she groaned and laid her head in her hands.  
“Well, you have two options. You can run. Or you can face the situation and get past it.”  
“I’ll take the third option.” Ellie responded.  
“Which is?”  
“I stay here tied up to your bed and you fuck me senseless.”  
Alfie laughed. “Now THAT is an option I can support!”  
That next day, Ellie walked along the pavement absentmindedly admiring the shops.   
“Ellie?” She heard a familiar voice call behind her and she cringed.   
“Tommy.” She acknowledged when she turned around.   
“We have been looking everywhere for you.” He said as he put his hand on his hip.  
“What?”   
“You didn’t show up for work last night.”  
“Uh..” Ellie looked around and behind her, confused. “I quit. Remember?”   
“We never accepted your resignation.” He said before he changed the look in his eye. “Come home Ellie.”   
“Is-is this a joke? Are you having a laugh?” she asked dumbfounded. “I slept with John, Tommy.”  
“I know.” Tommy said with a nod. “And that won’t happen again. John is married, he and Esme have reconciled. And now you can come back.”  
“And do what? Hm? Fuck you?”   
“This has nothing to do with fucking me, Ellie.”  
“Then what does it have to do with?” Her voice got louder, and passersby began to stare.   
“John.” Tommy said plainly.  
“What?”  
“John wants you in Birmingham. He wants you there and involved. He knows you can’t be together but it’s this or not being in each other’s lives at all.”  
“He wants me there?” She asked.  
“Yes.”  
“And if I don’t want to be around him if I can’t be with him?”  
“Then that is the decision you will have to make.”  
Ellie sighed and turned around to walk away. She hesitated and turned back to Tommy.   
“Tommy… Do you have a coin?”  
Tommy gave her a crooked grin as he pulled a coin from his pocket and tossed it to her. She looked at it before placing it on her thumb.   
“Heads I go back.” She said before tossing it in the air.


	12. Chapter 12

It landed on the ground and the two of them walked to it to examine her future. Tommy sighed and nodded as they looked back at each other.   
“I’ll need to get my things.” She said as her nerves fluttered in her stomach.  
“Alright. I’ll drive you. Where are you staying?”  
Ellie looked at him with a coy smile, “Camden Town. Above a rum distillery.”   
Tommy clenched his jaw before saying, “Were you a bad girl?”   
Ellie’s jaw dropped as she gaped at him. After a moment, Tommy looked at her, humor written all over his face.  
“I can’t believe you just said that to me!” She said as they walked to Tommy’s car.  
_____________________________________________  
Ellie gathered her things while Tommy waited in the car.   
“You know where my bedroom is next time you need another holiday.” Alfie said as he put her luggage in the back of Tommy’s car.   
Ellie turned to him and smiled sweetly, “Thank you.”  
Alfie looked at her with gentle eyes before he bent, giving her a chaste kiss.   
The drive back to Birmingham was quiet, neither saying a word.  
As they pulled into Small Heath, Ellie exhaled.   
“Tommy.” She said before a pause. “I can’t sleep with you again.”  
Tommy looked at her, his expression unreadable.   
“I said I moved on from John, but I haven’t. if I continue to sleep with you, he will be jealous and it will only cause more problems.”  
“He will be jealous of anyone you sleep with.”  
“I know. Which is why I won’t.” She said, voicing the thoughts that consumed her on the road.  
Tommy raised his eyebrows and she explained, “Well, not anyone in Birmingham that is. I will never not be in love with him. He wants me here, so I’ll stay here… but I won’t be with another man around him.”  
“You’re here because he wants you here? What about what you want?”   
“I want him. And I can’t have him.” Her face fell. “I didn’t leave my fiancé because he couldn’t please me. I mean, he couldn’t but that’s not why I left him. I left because our wedding was drawing near and the thought of walking down the aisle to anyone that wasn’t John, just made me want to vomit. I just didn’t want to admit it”  
“Ellie-“ Tommy started, a pang of guilt in his stomach at the realization of what she had agreed to when she came back.  
“It’s alright, Tommy.” She said, reading his thoughts. “I’m alright. Giving up a future marriage or having children isn’t that hard when I think about the fact that I never truly would be happy with anyone else. And there are plenty of orphans that need a good home and a mother to love them.”  
Tommy reached over and put his hand on hers, giving it a small squeeze.   
“Please don’t tell him.” She begged. “John has such a big heart. If he knew I came back simply because he wanted me to and that I have sworn never to marry another man… he would never forgive himself. Let him believe it was the coin toss that made me return.”  
Tommy nodded and Ellie exited his car.   
That evening, Ellie learned that Esme had gone to visit family and had returned around the same time she had. To her surprise, when Esme walked into the pub with John, she smiled at Ellie. Ellie stood shocked, staring at the two of them.   
“You came back.” Polly pointed out as Ellie poured her a drink.  
“Yes.” Ellie mentally braced herself for a berating.  
“I think Tommy is wrong.” Polly admitted with a sigh and shake of her head. “He shouldn’t have went looking for you.”  
“John-“  
“Oh, I know why he went.” Polly said as she looked at Ellie as if shaming her. “I still think he was wrong for it.”  
The women stood silent for a moment before Polly said, “You’ll never find happiness here with John’s name on every mouth.”  
Ellie looked at her and could see pity in her eyes.  
Shrugging Ellie replied, “Happiness is what you make of it, isn’t it?”  
Polly scoffed, “Who told you that?”  
“He wanted me here….”  
Polly’s eyes filled with pity once more and she said, “Men want a lot of things. It doesn’t mean we should surrender ourselves up to give it to them.”  
The two looked toward John at the table and Esme glanced at them.   
“She smiled at me when she came in.” Ellie said to Polly.  
“I know. She has been very cheerful since coming back from seeing her family.”  
“She wasn’t gone very long.”  
“Neither were you.” Polly pointed out before adding, “She decided to come back when she heard Tommy was looking for you.”  
“Should I be concerned about her?”   
Polly chuckled a breath before picking up her drink, “We should all be concerned about Esme.” And walking back to her family.  
_______________________________________________  
The Shelby family once again remained in the pub after closing. Eventually, Ellie was asked to join them, and she sat awkwardly for a few minutes before easing into the conversation.  
“I’m glad you decided to come back.” John admitted in a whisper as she wiped down the bar.  
“Don’t thank me. Thank the coin toss.” She smiled at him.  
“I do.”  
“Your wife smiled at me.”  
“Yeah well, I think it’s because she’s planning on killing me in my sleep.”   
Ellie chuckled.  
“I’m serious.”  
“Make sure you call a solicitor and have me put on your will before you go to sleep tonight then.” Ellie replied with a twinkle in her eye and John shook his head with a smile.  
Ellie eventually ushered the family out the door and turned to finish cleaning the last two tables. She listened to the tires drive away on the pavement outside and pushed chairs in their rightful places. Hearing the door open again, Ellie turned around.   
“We’re closed.” She said as she looked at the three men that had walked in.  
“You’re here.” One of the men pointed out.  
“Yes. I work here. I’m just closing up. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait ‘till tomorrow.”  
“Ellie, isn’t it?” The second man asked.  
“Yes.” She admitted, growing alarmed as she noticed the men looking around the pub for anyone else. “Do I know you?”  
“No.” the third man answered as he turned toward the outside door and locked it. “But don’t worry. We are about to get very acquainted.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER CHAPTER- Please proceed reading with caution***

Ellie heard her heartbeat in her ears as she stood, locked in the pub with these three men.  
“Tommy will-“ She started, attempting to sound confident.  
“Be on his way home right about now.” The second man finished for her.  
“Now. We have something we would like to discuss with you.” The third man said as he neared her.   
Without realizing she had lost sight of one of the men, Ellie instinctively took a step back and bumped into the first man that had spoken to her.   
“Who are you?” Ellie insisted with a stern voice.  
“I am Brendan Lee.” The third man introduced before continuing to point at the second man, “My brother, Cormac. And that big brute of a man behind you there, is Magnus.”  
“Lee?” Ellie asked for clarification.  
“That’s right.”  
“You’re Esme’s kin?”  
“Yes.” Brendan confirmed. “And she told us about how you came into Birmingham and seduced her husband. Which is what we would like to talk to you about.”  
“I didn’t seduce anyone. He came to me. I-I didn’t ask him to or-or-” Ellie stopped talking when she saw a wicked look in Cormac’s eyes.  
“So, you’re calling our cousin a liar?” Cormac asked.   
The three men were closing in on her. Ellie felt her thigh, knowing her gun was securely in its holster, waiting for her. Suddenly, Ellie turned to run, attempting to buy some time to get her gun. Magnus grabbed her shoulders as she lifted her skirt to reveal the holster underneath.  
“What’s this?” Brendan asked, an evil smile on his face. “A gun.” He said as he lifted her skirt higher than necessary and removed her gun. “You won’t be needing this.”   
Brendan handed the gun to his brother, who put it in his pocket.   
“Let me go.” Ellie said.   
“You heard her, Magnus. Let her go.” Brendan instructed and Magnus released her.   
There was a quick second Ellie thought about running again and Brendan smiled at her, reading her thoughts. Ellie went to take a step and collided with Brendan’s fist. She put a hand on the cheekbone he had struck and looked at him in shock.   
“I know why you did it.” He said as he took a step toward her. “Because it was easy, right?”   
Ellie looked around, her brows up and furrowed, desperate for an escape.  
“Esme is too soft.” Brendan continued. “She even told us not to hurt you too much, just scare you.”   
Cormac, who had worked his was beside Ellie, backhanded her. Ellie fell to the floor, gazing at the men that towered over her.   
“But we have other plans.” He stated.   
Magnus gave Ellie a swift and hard kick to her side as she attempted to stand and she fell, gasping for air.   
“Wait..” Ellie pleaded as she attempted to breathe.  
Another kick came to her stomach and Ellie curled into a ball on the floor. Brendan got on the floor and turned Ellie onto her back, straddling her.   
“Don’t.” He said as he punched her hard on the same cheekbone as before. “Fuck.” He rained another blow to the face. “Other.” A fist to the other cheek. “Women’s” her lip busted. “Husbands.” Ellie felt warm blood draining from her gashed eyebrow.  
Ellie’s brain fogged as the intense beating threatened her consciousness. Cormac stood over her and tipped a whiskey bottle, pouring it on her face. Ellie gasped as the liquid burnt her cuts and woke her up. Once the bottle was empty, he dropped it beside her face, glass shattering and digging into her skin.   
Magnus kicked her in the side again and pain shot through her as Cormac dropped to his knees to lean over her. He picked up a large shard of glass and ran it up her leg, not breaking the skin until it reached her thigh.   
“You want to fuck someone, Ellie?” He asked and she whimpered and shook her head, feeling the glass cut the outside of her thigh. “Are you sure? You fucked another woman’s husband, so clearly you have needs.”  
“I-I’m sorry.” She coughed. “P-please…”  
Cormac began to reach up her dress and Ellie found a new strength as she fought him and rolled onto her stomach, crawling away. He grabbed her ankle and pulled when she reached a table. Ellie grabbed the table and it tipped as the force of Cormac’s pull was too strong.  
He reached under her skirt and grabbed her knickers. Ellie kicked him in the face and attempted once more to crawl away, only to be stopped by Magnus, who kicked her face in return. Cormac turned her back onto her back and leaned over her.   
“Please. Please… Don’t do this.” Ellie sobbed. “Please..”  
“Is that what you asked John? Please?” Cormac asked.   
“No! I didn’t, I swear! I didn’t!” She begged. “Please!”  
Cormac held her wrists, putting pressure on them until she thought they would break.   
“What’s wrong, Ellie? I thought you liked being bound. That’s what Esme overheard the men saying.” Cormac said before he looked at his brother and cousin. “Hold her.” The men grabbed her wrists as Cormac began to undo his trousers.  
Ellie sobbed bitterly. “Don’t! Please! Please! I’m sorry! Help! No! No! JOHN!” her cries echoed in the pub.


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning came and Tommy walked with Polly to The Garrison.   
“So, you think Ellie has helped business that much?” Polly asked as they continued their conversation.   
“Michael said the books have never looked better.” Tommy shrugged as they drew near to the door. “He said-“  
“Is the door open?” Polly interrupted.   
Tommy looked to see the pub door hung just open. He opened the door and walked in before Polly.   
Immediately he held out his hand, “Get behind me.” He instructed as he withdrew his gun.   
Polly obeyed as they took a step into the pub. She gasped as she looked around. A table was tipped on its side and two chairs were broken. In the middle of the floor was broken shards of glass and small puddles of blood. Dried blood spread a trail from the middle of the floor to around the bar.   
Tommy followed the trail of blood, Polly close behind him, until he rounded the bar.   
“Ellie!” Tommy ran forward and dropped to his knees.   
“Oh my god!” Polly gasped, running up behind him.  
Ellie sat under the bar, leaned against the wall. Her face was beaten, and blood trailed from the middle of the pub floor to where she sat in another large puddle.   
“Ellie can you hear me?” Tommy asked and he put a hand on her shoulder, slightly shaking her.   
Ellie fell over and Tommy could tell she was unconscious.  
“Is she dead?” Polly asked.   
Tommy patted Ellie’s face as he said her name. Ellie groaned slightly and the two of them gave a small sigh of relief before Polly jumped to her feet to call for help.   
“Ellie, who did this to you?” Tommy urged.   
Polly came back and fell to her knees. “Help is coming, Ellie.” She said gently before looking at her nephew. “Who would do this?”  
“L-“ Ellie tried but gagged.   
“What? Ellie, we can’t understand you.” Polly said as she put a soft hand on Ellie’s.  
“L-Lee.” Was all Ellie could manage before she lost consciousness once more.  
___________________________________________  
John and Ellie kissed passionately, spread under a large crab apple tree in a field outside of Birmingham.   
Finally, when they removed their mouths from each other to catch their breath, Ellie said. “I love this tree! When we get married, let’s get married right here.”  
“Alright.” John said with a smile.  
“It can be OUR tree.” She joked.  
John’s smile broadened before he quickly got up and reached in his pocket.   
“Where are you going?” She asked.  
“If it’s our tree, then it needs our name.” He explained as he pulled out a small knife.   
He carved their initials into the base of the tree.  
“J.S. and E.S.” She said as she read what he had carved. “My initials are E.T.”  
“Not when we get married. Then you will be Ellie Shelby. E.S.”  
“Oh, yes. Ellie Shelby… I like that.” Ellie giggled.   
John kissed her, “And I will build you a house, just there. On the hill where we can see our tree every day and our children can climb it.”  
Ellie grabbed his face and pulled it toward hers and they were caught up in passion against their tree.  
___________________________________________  
“Where is she?” John asked as he ran into the hospital.   
Tommy put a hand on John’s chest to stop him. “John, wait.”  
“No, Tommy! Where is she? I need to see her!”   
“I know.” Tommy said in understanding. “I know. But you need to prepare yourself.”  
“F-for what?” John asked.  
“It’s bad, John. She has a lot of damage. Her face is-“  
“Her face? Tommy, what happened?”   
“She was attacked last night. By three Lee men.”  
John shook his head as tears began to grow in his eyes. “No.”  
“They beat her, and then they-“ Tommy inhaled a breath. “John, they r-“  
“No!” John said continuing to shake his head. “No. Don’t fucking- Don’t fucking tell me that!”   
John leaned against the wall and shrunk down to sit on his ankles, tears falling down his face as he put his palms on his forehead. He hit his forehead with his hands in anguish. Tommy knelt to be level with him.   
Putting a hand on John’s shoulder, he said, “There’s a lot of damage. To her face and internally. She lost a lot of blood-“  
“They’ll fix her.” John said. “Th-the doctors. They’ll fix her or I’ll bloody take their fucking eyes!”  
“John, they’ve done everything they can.” Polly said as she knelt with her nephews and John shook his head. “There’s just too much damage.”  
“They can give her blood.” John tried to reason. “And they can-they can-“  
“They think she has swelling on the brain.” Tommy finally said.   
“No. No.” John said as he pushed his brother away.   
“You need to-“ Tommy tried as he put his hand behind his brother’s neck. “You need to be with her John.”  
Tommy pressed his forehead to his brother’s as John wept. “You need to be with her. Eh?” John took a breath and nodded. “Pull yourself together, she doesn’t need to see you like this.” John nodded his head and wiped his face.  
“Is she awake?” He asked.  
“Comes and goes.” Polly answered as she wiped a tear from her eye.   
John fought his sobs before he took a deep breath and walked to the door. He opened it and stopped. There she lay, the woman he had loved since he was sixteen. He looked at her and knew why Tommy had tried to prepare him, but no amount of preparation would have been enough.   
He walked toward her and the one eye that hadn’t swollen completely shut blinked open.   
“John?” She breathed.  
“Yeah. It’s me.” He said as he sat in the chair next to her bed and grabbed her hand.   
“Would-“ She swallowed difficultly. “Would it be too f-far if-f I asked you t-to lay w-with me?”   
He immediately stood and took off his coat. John carefully laid on the bed next to her and looked down at her.   
“Are you comfortable?” He asked.  
“Yes. I don’t- I don’t feel anything.” She whispered.   
He couldn’t stop the tears coming to his eyes as he looked at her.   
“Do you remember where our tree is?” Ellie asked softly.  
“Of course.” He answered. “I never forgot.”  
“Will you put me there?”   
John sniffed as his nose ran to match the tears flowing from his eyes.   
“Yes.” He said with a breath. “I promise.”  
“Don’t be angry with her.”  
John looked at Ellie, confused.   
“Sh-she didn’t want this.” Ellie said.   
“I’ll never forgive her.” John said bitterly.   
“Please.” Ellie begged, her breathing strained. “Forgive her.”  
“How can you ask me to do that? She took you away from me?” John said behind clenched teeth.   
“Forgive her. For me? I won’t ever be too far. I’ll be waiting for you, in the blooms of our apple tree.”   
Her breathing became more ragged and John began to fall apart. He put his forehead to hers and whispered, “I love you, Ellie.” Then he put his lips on hers and felt her last breath leave her.   
John pulled her close and he began to weep. A few moments went by and Tommy opened the door and he and Polly walked in. Polly quietly crying.   
“We’re burying her in the Wickerman field. Under the apple tree.” John said as he began to calm. “And I’ll go there any FUCKING time I feel like it.”  
“I’ll let them know.” Tommy said.  
“And Esme?” Polly asked.  
John clenched his jaw and looked at Ellie. “Esme…” John struggled saying the words, “is forgiven.”  
Polly looked at Tommy, who glanced back at her.   
“But the Lees that did this will pay.” John demanded and Tommy nodded his head.   
“Forgiven?” Polly asked for clarification as John began to stand, careful not to move Ellie too much as if afraid he would hurt her.  
“Ellie said this wasn’t what Esme wanted.” John said.   
“But-“ Polly started.   
“It was her last wish Pol!” John yelled. “Ellie’s dying wish was that I forgive Esme! I don’t know why, but it was! And she will get what she wants! She will be buried under the fucking apple tree and I will forgive my fucking wife!”  
“She loved you.” Tommy said and John looked at him. “That’s why she wanted you to forgive her. Her dying wish wasn’t for Esme. It was for you. So, you could be happy.”  
_________________________________________  
John stood under the large apple tree, staring at its white blooms. He put the bouquet of roses in front of the gravestone. He looked up at the initials he had carved years ago on the tree, remembering the day he had carved them. They were higher now, no longer at the ground.   
John walked to the tree and placed a hand on its trunk as the wind began to blow softly. He closed his eyes and smiled as he heard the faint laughs of a sixteen-year-old girl, forever in his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


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